It was a good week for ...
1. J.J. Watt: We're watching that special type of dominance right now. Jim Brown, Lawrence Taylor, Randy Moss kind of stuff. More on Watt later ...
3. Ryan Leaf: The former No. 2 overall pick was released from prison this week. Not all the news is good, however.
It was a bad week for ...
1. Brandon Marshall What's worse: Being trapped in Chicago with Smokin' Jay or having your rib cage rearranged by a Mortal Kombat-level knee shot?
What The What?
» Gronk is a living cartoon character.
» Ugggggh ... Bieber
I'm not as plugged in on the alleged Bieber Curse as others, but I'll never pass on the opportunity to study Bieber, the great shining turd of popular culture. Check out the below Vine of Bieber striking a pose with Gronk. The pop star seems to be thinking to himself, "Did I ever get my GED?"
Gronk, meanwhile, is just a big beautiful monster. That dude loves life.
Are you smarter than a second grader? (Probably not)
Multiply 7 by 3 right now. OK. Did you get 21? Please tell me you got 21. Oh man, it's going to be awkward if you didn't get 21. OK, congrats. Now, in the same amount of time, multiply 97 by 93. You have no idea what the answer is do you?
J.J. Watt has his NFL Films sound byte for the ages
Watt had a dominant game against the Titans on Sunday, but something tells us it's what he said before the game that we'll remember most.
"All I know is, you mess with me, you got problems!" will go down in the pantheon of great lines from NFL greats. Depending on how the rest of Watt's career plays out it could challenge my three all-time faves: LT ("Let's go out there like a bunch of crazed dogs!"), Singletary ("I like this kind of party!") and Shanahan ("I stake my reputation on John Beck and Rex Grossman!")
Tweet of the week
Here's the tackle attempt ...
Clinton-Dix is survived by his family and loyal Golden Retriever.
Odell Beckham is overdue to do something amazing
For you nostalgia hounds out there ...
Katy Perry singles, ranked
As you probably know by now, Katy Perry will headline the Super Bowl XLIX halftime show in Glendale on Feb. 1. Perry has some solid singles, and as a man who's comfortable with his tastes -- whether it be music, women or beer -- I'll now present the definitive Perry singles power rankings:
Moving on ...
That's a whole lotta neck beard
Tis the season to be hopeful
Hero of the Week: Andre Johnson
Andre Johnson is a good dude. For the past eight years, the Texans wide receiver has personally footed the bill on toy store shopping sprees for Houston-area children in protective services' care. The premise is simple and brilliant: The children (and adults with them) get 80 seconds (80 being Johnson's number for the last 11 seasons) to take anything they want off the shelves.
Video game systems are locked behind glass, but children can claim those as well. This year, Johnson spent $16,266.26. He's pretty much the Anti-Scrooge.
Until next time ...