The Cavaliers' stunning victory over the Warriors in the NBA Finals has had a ripple effect across the sports world. In Cleveland, a city that waited over 50 years for a champion, the good cheer and optimism has the denizens of The Land thinking optimistically about all their depressing teams ... even the Browns!
A downtown advertising firm that famously displays a modified Browns jersey with the names of all 24 of the team's failed QBs in the post-'99 reboot era announced it will no longer keep the jersey in its street-facing display case.
"It's a new day in Cleveland," said Tim Brokaw of Brokaw, Inc. "We want to be a part of that."
LeBron has created legit optimism in Cleveland -- it might be his greatest feat of all. Am I crazy to think this good juju could trickle down to the Browns this season?
I see a miracle season for the Dawg Pound. A season that will live on forever as a testament to civic greatness, a season that will leave the experts scratching their heads, a season that will require a sprawling 30 for 30 that makes "O.J.: Made In America" look incomplete in comparison.
That's right. 8-8 in 2016 baby! Make Cleveland OK Again!
Welcome to the Around The NFL End Around, a weekly look back at the world of the National Football League. Dan Hanzus serves as your guide.
Strange support system
Yes, the Golden State Warriors capped an historic season on Sunday with one of the most crushing defeats in sports history.
That's right -- there's certainly some connective tissue when it comes to the 16-0 Patriots of 2007 and 73-9 Warriors of 2016. This explains why some Warriors fans clicked through to a Patriots sub-Reddit board on Sunday night asking New England fans how they cope when a magical season goes up in flames.
It's time to ban the internet.
There's a delicious irony in this alliance of sadness, of course. Oakland fans have spent the past 15 years crying foul about the Tuck Rule game, certain that the Patriots' subsequent dynasty was built on a foundation of poop in the shape of a giant asterisk.
So if you're expecting Sully from Dorchester or Tawmy from Southie to comfort you, think again. Besides, they're working through their own stuff right now ... (Warning: Holy Explicit Language, Batman!)
Ben, if you need to talk, the End Around is here for you.
Cam Newton: Fashion Icon
Cam should petition the NFL to wear his fox tail during games this year. The Shield is far too strict with uniform guidelines -- I mean, you can get fined for wearing your socks incorrectly -- and Cam might be the most fashionable NFL star of his generation.
Joe Namath wore the white shoes. Let Cam Newton wear the dead dog. #wearthetail
Big Vince lets it all hang out
Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork -- a mountain of a man with a rotund belly carved by the gods themselves -- will appear in ESPN The Magazine's upcoming Body Issue.
This has led to some social media squawking -- did I mention we should cancel the internet? -- that Wilfork's heavy-set frame is unhealthy and should not be celebrated. To which I say: a) Go away forever and b) How could you not want to see more of this?
Tapping out on J.J. Watt criticism
I've had my fun with J.J. Watt here at the End Around, but sadly, those fun times are over. And it's all soccer's fault.
Well, in an indirect way. It started with this tweet:
Which led to this skyscraper shade from ProFootballTalk's Mike Florio:
Watt didn't like said skyscraper shade one bit ...
Things devolved from there, culminating in a 671-word fever-dream of a closing salvo from Florio.
So I'm getting out. It's been a great ride. I have no regrets. In one vision of heaven, J.J. Watt is always next to me, awkwardly dropping bars from one-hit wonders.
But now everybody's bagging on Watt. Hating on Justin James for being a cheeseball has gone mainstream. Watt's feud with Florio was like your dad suddenly claiming ownership of your favorite band. It's just over.
And yes, there's some self-preservation mixed in here, too. One day, Watt is going to snap on a snarky blogger and it will be messy. He will end that sad soul. That won't be me.
Joe Flacco is alive ... but is he elite?
Hacking into social media accounts and starting death rumors is so hot right now. The NFL got hit earlier this month. This week, it was a popular Ravens fan site:
The Ravens were compelled to confirm that, yes, Joe Flacco remains among the living.
Then it was Flacco's turn to clarify his status as a non-corpse.
In the near future, humans will only be able to communicate through "Game Of Thrones" references.
What the what?
An offseason report on Adrian Peterson from May:
An offseason report on Adrian Peterson from June:
Come onnnnnnnnn, Week 1! Get here, baby!
I have a new favorite long snapper
His name is Jon Dorenbos and he's a 13-year veteran who currently does his long snapper thing for the Eagles. It's been a nice gig for the Humble, Texas, native, but this guy has his second career all lined up.
I know this because I watched this clip from NBC's "America's Got Talent" this week. The guy is amazing.
Literal magic.
Tweet of the Week
I'm starting to suspect that Odell Beckham Jr. is a strong all-around athlete.
Quote of the Week
"I will continue to flourish in life as well as in athletics because of my strong will to succeed and desire to always be on top."
-- "Tommy" Brady, English class essay, Oct. 19, 1994.
I implore you to read that full essay, in which a 17-year-old Tom Brady reveals his frustrations over being overlooked due to the success of his three older sisters. "[H]opefully, just maybe, one day people will walk up to them and say, 'Hey, aren't you Tommy's sister?'Â "
Pretty sure his sisters have gotten that every week for the past, oh, 15 years. By the way, I love that teen Tommy talked just like one of the Brady cyborgs from that Under Armour ad. It was always inside him.
Hero of the Week: Marshawn Lynch (Warning: This video contains explicit language.)
Beast Mode explains how he managed to become one of the most dominant running backs of his generation, but his outlook on football can be applied by all of us.
If there's obstacle standing between you and where you want to be, run through a mother------'s face. Then you don't have to worry about him no mo'.
Until next time ...
