Ok, America. May I have your attention, please? Ladies and gentlemen, just a moment of your time.
Thank you, thank you. Please take your seats as quickly as possible. Then, I need each of you you to do me a favor.
Before you read any further, turn on your computer's speakers. And make them loud -- the louder, the better. If you happen to be reading this at work, either grab the rest of your office to join you, or just grab some headphones if you're the introverted type.
Ready? Good. Now crank this as you read the rest of this article. Don't worry about annoying your neighbors, because they're a part of this too. Feel free to continue with the dancing ... no one will judge you.
Ceeeeeeeelebrate good times, indeed. Our victory over Jason Smith's Agony and Ivory team last week guarantees America's Team will qualify for the playoffs in the experts league! That's right -- you and me, me and you. Our collective efforts have ensured that we'll be sitting at the adult table this Thanksgiving in this league. Thanks for helping make this a lot of fun. It's been a heck of a ride, but there is still plenty at stake. We're not ready to start dousing each other with expensive champagne just yet.
One more win in these last two weeks of the regular season will lock up the division title and a first-round bye. However, I'm thinking even bigger than that. We're sporting an 8-3 record, but so are both Matt "Money" Smith and Adam Rank in the other division. We don't really want to finish tied when them going into the playoffs, do we? Think about it -- how often do you get a chance to play directly against the experts like this? Not very. So wouldn't it be kind of cool to finish with a better regular season record than all of them? We've got some decisions to make. Help out, and let's make this happen.
So, who's gonna come out pumped for Week 12?