Skip to main content

Cheers to Zimmer's stonewalling, Dockett's troll game

Welcome to the Around The NFL End Around, a weekly look back at the world of the National Football League. Dan Hanzus serves as your guide.

It was a good week for ...

1. Broncos fans: You're enjoying this, right? More to the point, you guys appreciate what's going on here, right? You're in a golden age, rooting for a team with a quarterback surging toward his sixth (sixth!) MVP award and a legit defense that makes Denver a balanced juggernaut. The prohibitive Super Bowl favorite.

2. DeMarco Murray: You know you're having a special season at running back when you break a 56-year-old record previously held by Jim Freaking Brown. Apple products for everybody!

3. America's Team truthers: Speaking of the Cowboys, Twitter Sports makes a pretty compelling case that Big D really is America's Team. Check out all the blue in that interactive map!

It was a bad week for ...

1. Broncos scoreboard operator: Perhaps caught up in all the euphoria and good fortune mentioned above, the scoreboard guy at Mile High angered Peyton Manning with some questionable directorial choices when the home team had the ball. Scoreboard Guy's family should just start planning the annual memorial golf outing right now.

2. Jake Locker:Jake Locker is the NFL's version of Mr. Glass, and Ken Whisenhunt decided he can't coach while crossing his fingers anymore. As Wess noted Thursday, Locker is set to join the "bridge" club along with other not-quite-the-answer guys like Matt Cassel, Ryan Fitzpatrick, Kyle Orton and Michael Vick.

3. Darrelle Revis: Everyone knows the terrible feeling when you wake up and realize you forgot to set your alarm the night before. Now imagine this happened and that Bill Belichickis your boss.

Family is about loyalty

Andrew Hawkins spent three seasons with the Bengals before signing with the Browns this season. His young son's continued allegiance to A.J. Green and Mohamed Sanu forced Hawkins to make a difficult decision.

Love how Hawkins really sells it with the deep sigh followed by, "Good luck." Just killed me.

¿Dónde está Wembley?

This reminded me of that scene in *Spinal Tap* where the band winds through the catacombs of an arena, unable to find the stage. In this case, the Falcons are wandering through Madrid looking for Wembley Stadium.

Seriously, what could go wrong with the Mettenberger era?

I've seen into the future ... a scoreboard tells me I'm midway through the third quarter of the Titans' game against the Texanson Sunday. I ... I see ... a wizard ... no ... a Whiz ... he looks to be in pain ... like he's contracted Zimmer's kidney stones. But that's not it. Whiz's discontent is rooted in the sudden realization he turned over his season, and maybe job security, to the 178th pick in the draft. I'm reading his mind now ... I believe I can make it out ... yes, there it is ... "*I've made a huge mistake*."

Football Baby knows all

Dameshek's infant son has a skill that will make him the most valuable commodity since Biff's sports almanac.

Glorified G(reen Bay)

Several Packers players attended the Pearl Jam concert in Milwaukee this week, but nobody had more fun than Matt Flynn. While Aaron Rodgers watched from a private box, Flynn kept it real with the other diehards on the floor. Eddie Vedder rewarded Flynn's loyalty by donning a No. 10 jersey for part of the concert.

And now, invoking my right as a 34-year-old white dad, here are my top 10 essential Pearl Jam songs:

What The What?

From the sports fan police blotter: A New Jersey man got himself arrested on Sunday after causing property damage at a bar during the Giants-Cowboys game. How he damaged the property was sublime.

"Kenneth Tarr became so overly excited while watching football that he headbutt the glass front-entrance door, which subsequently shattered," the Plainsboro Police Department stated in a press release.

Tarr was charged with criminal mischief and released. The busted door will cost $500 to repair. That's a costly DeMarco Murray first down.

Quote of the Week, Part I

*"We was flying high going into that bye and now we like the scum of the crop right now." *

Quote of the Week, Part II

"Not to sound off my rocker, but (Austin Davis) -- in my mind -- can be the next Tom Brady or Kurt Warner. (Brian) Hoyer as well. Austin, like those mentioned, just needed a legit opportunity."

-- Bearded maintenance man Brett Favre, who might have gone too far in his ear cavity with his MicroTouch®.

A-Rod, Romo, oh no

We're some Tebowing and a unicycling Bieber away from a societal implosion here.

Dockett on troll duty

I almost felt bad for Raiders fans here. Then I realized Cardinals players were surely on the end of some high-grade vitriol during four quarters at the Black Hole. Dockett said Raidersfans threw coins and ice at the players and called them "every name in the book." Coins!

Hero of the Week: Mike Zimmer

Zimmer is a tough dude. The Vikings coach bookended an awful last-second loss to the Bills on Sunday with a pair of medical procedures to eliminate kidney stones.

"(It) was not pleasant at all," Zimmer said, according to the St. Paul Pioneer Press. "(Vikings trainer) Eric Sugarman was talking to the team (Wednesday) and I told them to get the video of the procedures that I had done and we'd show the team. I think there would have been some throwing up."

(If you just read that while squeezing your thighs together as tight as possible, know you are not alone.)

Until next time ...

The "Around The League Podcast" is now available on iTunes! Click here to listen and subscribe.

This article has been reproduced in a new format and may be missing content or contain faulty links. Please use the Contact Us link in our site footer to report an issue.