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Published: June 23, 2011 at 08:01 p.m.
Updated: Dec. 5, 2011 at 07:28 p.m.

Best NFL Mustaches

Check out the Manning brother’s “Football Cop” trailer if you haven’t yet. I’m no Manning fan, but even I can enjoy the hilarity of that video. The best part is Eli Manning’s mustache. That clearly makes the whole video. Nothing says police brutality like that mustache. He should seriously consider that look full-time.

With that in mind, it seems prudent to count down the top six NFL police mustaches of all-time.

11 Photos Total

  • Many Raiders were contenders for this list, ironic because the Silver and Black have been known to bend the rules on occasion. At least back in the day when mustaches were fashionable. Biletnikoff has a solid mustache that anybody would be proud of. 11

    Associated Press

    Also considered: Fred Biletnikoff

    Many Raiders were contenders for this list, ironic because the Silver and Black have been known to bend the rules on occasion. At least back in the day when mustaches were fashionable. Biletnikoff has a solid mustache that anybody would be proud of.

  • Anderson was clean shaven during his early years, but started rocking the 'stache in time for the Bengals' glorious run to their first Super Bowl. Coincidence? Hardly. That plain mustache beat the fully bearded Dan Fouts in the <a href="http://www.nfl.com/goto?id=09000d5d80498e79" target="new">AFC Championship Game</a> to go to the Super Bowl. The evidence is just too overwhelming your honor. 10

    National Football League

    Also considered: Ken Anderson

    Anderson was clean shaven during his early years, but started rocking the 'stache in time for the Bengals' glorious run to their first Super Bowl. Coincidence? Hardly. That plain mustache beat the fully bearded Dan Fouts in the AFC Championship Game to go to the Super Bowl. The evidence is just too overwhelming your honor.

  • Wannstedt actually looks like a police officer -- which is his downfall. I mean, what would happen if you wanted to send Wannstedt deep undercover? He would never survive because that glorious mustache would be a dead giveaway. 9

    David Adame/Associated Press

    Also considered: Dave Wannstedt

    Wannstedt actually looks like a police officer -- which is his downfall. I mean, what would happen if you wanted to send Wannstedt deep undercover? He would never survive because that glorious mustache would be a dead giveaway.

  • It is unclear if Payton earned the nickname "Sweetness" at Jackson State because of his smooth running style, or as an ironic nickname because of the punishment he handed out. Or was it because of this mustache? The hair and mustache are the perfect combination. 8

    Greg Trott/Associated Press

    Also considered: Walter Payton

    It is unclear if Payton earned the nickname "Sweetness" at Jackson State because of his smooth running style, or as an ironic nickname because of the punishment he handed out. Or was it because of this mustache? The hair and mustache are the perfect combination.

  • Cowboys coach Tom Landry seemed like the kind of coach who wouldn't allow such upper-lip shenanigans. Maybe this is a testament to Landry's tolerance. Or maybe, like the rest of us, he just enjoyed an awesome mustache. 7

    National Football League

    Also considered: Cliff Harris

    Cowboys coach Tom Landry seemed like the kind of coach who wouldn't allow such upper-lip shenanigans. Maybe this is a testament to Landry's tolerance. Or maybe, like the rest of us, he just enjoyed an awesome mustache.

  • There were a number of great things that stood out about Christensen, the first being that he was a tight end who wore No. 46. Then there was the perm hairdo. But the mustache was one of the best in NFL history. The whole look is a thing of beauty. And a bit ironic that the Los Angeles Raiders had so many problems with troublemakers while their tight end looked like an LAPD recruitment poster. 6

    Paul Spinelli/Associated Press

    6. Todd Christensen

    There were a number of great things that stood out about Christensen, the first being that he was a tight end who wore No. 46. Then there was the perm hairdo. But the mustache was one of the best in NFL history. The whole look is a thing of beauty. And a bit ironic that the Los Angeles Raiders had so many problems with troublemakers while their tight end looked like an LAPD recruitment poster.

  • The fledgling mustache you see here was no match to what it would later become. And did it look like a policeman's mustache? Hollywood certainly thought so because Smith was cast in the role of Cadet Moses Hightower in "Police Academy". 5

    National Football League

    5. Bubba Smith

    The fledgling mustache you see here was no match to what it would later become. And did it look like a policeman's mustache? Hollywood certainly thought so because Smith was cast in the role of Cadet Moses Hightower in "Police Academy".

  • Watch Iron Mike blow up at the media and he looks like the quintessential screaming captain from those old-school police shows. He certainly looks more like a police chief than Archie Manning, who they cast in the "Football Cops" video. 4

    National Football League

    4. Mike Ditka

    Watch Iron Mike blow up at the media and he looks like the quintessential screaming captain from those old-school police shows. He certainly looks more like a police chief than Archie Manning, who they cast in the "Football Cops" video.

  • That's right. Most people remember Namath for being the clean-shaven, Super Bowl-win guaranteeing, pantyhose-pitching ladies man of the New York Jets. But he once rocked one of the coolest mustaches in NFL history. 3

    Harry Harris/Associated Press

    3. Joe Namath

    That's right. Most people remember Namath for being the clean-shaven, Super Bowl-win guaranteeing, pantyhose-pitching ladies man of the New York Jets. But he once rocked one of the coolest mustaches in NFL history.

  • You might argue that Dobler looks more like a villain, rather than a man of the law. At least former Rams great Merlin Olsen would. But Dobler looks like one of those crooked sheriffs in one of those old-school Westerns. In fact, he would be perfect for it. 2

    National Football League

    2. Conrad Dobler

    You might argue that Dobler looks more like a villain, rather than a man of the law. At least former Rams great Merlin Olsen would. But Dobler looks like one of those crooked sheriffs in one of those old-school Westerns. In fact, he would be perfect for it.

  • My favorite table at Batista's Hole in the Wall in Las Vegas is right under an autographed photo of Davidson, who signed it with, "great food, free wine, the only thing better could be _ _ _ ." My heart believes he was referencing "my awesome mustache"  with those three blank spots. My head knows that he was really meant was "Al Davis' jumpsuit." 1

    National Football League

    1. Ben Davidson

    My favorite table at Batista's Hole in the Wall in Las Vegas is right under an autographed photo of Davidson, who signed it with, "great food, free wine, the only thing better could be _ _ _ ." My heart believes he was referencing "my awesome mustache" with those three blank spots. My head knows that he was really meant was "Al Davis' jumpsuit."