Jeremy Maclin's deal includes free crab cakes for life

It's not unusual for restaurant chains to offer "(Insert Popular Product Here) For Life" in the service of fun publicity and the goodwill of the region's sports fans.

You might recall -- OK, you definitely don't -- Nashville eateries offering Peyton Manning free pancakes and MoonPies for the rest of his career if he signed with the Titans in 2012. Spoiler alert: Peyton didn't bite.

Fast forward to the present. Jimmy's Seafood, a Baltimore-based restaurant, offered free-agent wide receiver Jeremy Maclin free crab cakes for the length of his contract if he signed with the Ravens. When Maclin didn't immediately respond, Jimmy's doubled down and made a lifetime offer.

A few days later, Maclin signed a two-year deal with the Ravens. And wouldn't you know it? Maclin had the Jimmy's offer in his back pocket the whole time!

There would be no backing out for Jimmy's. Not now, not ever.

The language of the tweet clearly seems to indicate that the crabs themselves are running Jimmy's Seafood, a reveal equal parts fascinating and impressive. Then again, we must then also operate with the understanding that the crabs choose from amongst their own kind to be sacrificed to Maclin and the thousands of crab-loving customers in the greater Baltimore area.

A seemingly innocent promotion takes a sharp left into the foggy abyss ...