Ben McAdoo has new haircut and everything's changed

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I am fully aware 30 teams are in mandatory minicamp this week, and therefore, society has many "real" football storylines to digest (I guess). So don't get up on your high horse and condescend about the massive news I'm about to lay down right here in this blog post.

Hold onto your butts: Ben McAdoo got a haircut.

And another angle ...

Annnnnnnd one more ...

This is a strong and good and necessary haircut. I don't want to talk out of barbershop school here, but Ben McAdoo had an objectively poor haircut during his first season as Giants coach. It represented something of a follicle Twilight Zone: Both too short and too long, under control and unkempt, obviously real and fully synthetic. It made no sense.

But now? Ben McAdoo is in complete control. A mercenary demigod beamed from a planet where everyone wins, all the time. Never underestimate the power of the slicked-back look for a professional sports coach. Pat Riley won a million NBA titles because of it. Mike Ditka and his '85 Bears plundered all comers with ease. McAdoo's righteous 'do will undoubtedly lead the New York Football Giants to similar glory.

That's right. Tight on the sides, slide to the back with all the grease you can handle. That right there is the coif of a champion.

Now about that goatee ...

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