Cheers for Hue swagger, the joyous innocence of youth

Print

Welcome to the Around The NFL End Around, a weekly look back at the world of the National Football League. Dan Hanzus serves as your guide.

It was a good week for ...

1. Hue Jackson: Unless you count a unfortunately-named mascot, the Browns aren't supposed to have swagger. But there was an unmistakable air of confidence emanating from Hue Jackson during his introductory press conference on Wednesday. Did Cleveland finally find their man?

2. Jim Caldwell: There was roughly a .00001 percent chance Jim Caldwell was going to keep his job after Aaron Rodgers completed his Hail Mary on Thursday Night Football last month. But Jim beat the odds. It's time we, as a people, stop underestimating Jimmy!

3. 49ers beat writers: Chip Kelly, Trent Baalke and Jed York all under the same roof? What could go wrong? This should be a goldmine for the reliably brassy scribes in the Bay Area.

It was a bad week for ...

1. St. Louis Rams fans: That's now two NFL teams that have left town. Just sucks.

2. Chandler Jones: Everybody seems to have a story about the high school classmate who smoked pot, got paranoid and called 911. Jones offered some new tweaks to an old story, and gets bonus points for actually wandering over to the police station. I mean, wow.

3. Tom Coughlin: So judging by the Giants' coaching moves, it was all The General's fault? This doesn't make sense.

Ben's fashion faux pas

Ben McAdoo wanted to make a good impression on Friday. And he pretty much did, comporting himself well during a press conference in which he was announced as the new head coach of the Giants. But McAdoo left one huge box unchecked: Buy a new damn suit for the biggest day of your career.

McAdoo explained to reporters that his poorly fitting formalwear was the product of losing 60 pounds over a short amount of time. That's a tremendous accomplishment and we hope he keeps it off. But the man had a two-inch gap between his collar and his neck! Someone had to step in here. Someone had to save this coaching lifer from himself. These guys don't think like normal humans.

What hurts the most was that this was all so avoidable.

Pray for Vikings fans

Was the Vikings' crushing loss on Sunday the worst playoff game to attend as a fan ever? Not only did your team blow a chance to knock off the back-to-back conference champs because your kicker couldn't make a chip shot, you sat in sub-zero temperatures for four-plus hours for the right to witness that emotional carnage. You literally risked your life ... and for what?!

I mean, listen to this crowd after Blair Walsh's kick shoots wide, wide left.

"Way to go Blair Walsh," says Random Destroyed Man In Upper Deck. "Way to ruin little kids' dreams." Oof.

Here's an equally crushing scene at a Minnesota bar. If you look closely, you can see the light go out in this poor guy's eyes:

The Vikings have gone to the playoffs 20 times since their last Super Bowl berth. That is a staggering amount of stomach punches for a single fan base.

Step away from the girl, Antonio

Untitled

This is remarkable. Antonio Cromartie has fathered 10 children, a prodigious level of procreation that led the Jets cornerback to get a vasectomy. But modern medicine is no match for Cromartie's privates. His wife is now expecting -- wait for it -- twins.

"Originally, he was like, 'Oh, s--t! Are you serious? How did this happen?'" Cromartie's wife Terricka told Us Weekly in an exclusive interview. "It was shocking news for the both of us. It took me a while to process it, but Antonio stood firm and was saying, 'It's God's will.' And he's been excited the whole time."

Should we do it? Do we need to see it again? Probably not, but let's do it anyway!

The Us Weekly exclusive closes out thusly:

Terricka -- who is craving Taco Bell and Five Guys these days -- is looking forward to when her newborns arrive. But as for having more in the future? She plans to get her tubes tied so that doesn't happen.

"Whatever helps!" she quips.

It won't help. It's no use. All resistance is futile.

Is Jim Harbaugh still saying crazy stuff?

Yes. Yes he is.

What the what?

This is the type of stuff RGIII needs to stop doing. Griffin was a good soldier this year. He got benched, stayed benched, and never made a peep as Kirk Cousins revitalized the Redskins. But this note reminds us of why people got so sick of Griffin in the first place.

Unsolicited advice: No more grand gestures. Bag the self myth-making. Just try to learn how to play quarterback without the super-human athleticism you came into the league with. Griffin has the potential to be an easy guy to root for as he tries to raise his pro career from the dead. But the sloganeering has to go.

This is the picture of sincerity

A video posted by @realpacman24 on

I'm struggling to pinpoint why I am so amused by this video. I've watched it eight times. I do like his necklace, it's like something Kanye wore in the "Jesus Walks" video. And the creeper black van adds an element of intrigue. Maybe it's the fact he felt compelled to explain that his travel schedule led to a delay of the apology. Maybe it's because he apologized on Instagram as opposed to, you know, actually calling Antonio Brown himself.

I know, that's crazy talk.

Tweet Of The Week


Big week for Pacman on the End Around. During his misbegotten media blitz, he told The Dan Patrick Show that Brown deserved a Grammy award for his acting. Poor Pacman had like an 80 percent chance to name an acceptable major award. Oscar would have worked. Emmy would have been money, since the game was on TV. A Tony reference would have played. If he said Golden Globe, he would have been hailed for his timeliness.

But he said Grammy. Brown gamely pounced on the failed bit.

Well played.

Quote of the Week

"I'm sure it's going to be devastating to all their viewers."

-- Peyton Manning, when told that Al Jazeera America -- the network that aired that documentary -- will cease operations

Hero of the Week: I believe that children are the future ...

As we know, Blair Walsh messed up. Messed up bad. He may never live down his miss against the Seahawks, but a first-grade class at Northpoint Elementary School did its best to cheer up the lonesome kicker.

Walsh visited the children on Thursday, signing autographs and speaking with the class.

"I'm so touched for what these kids did," Walsh said. "I'll remember this forever."

Take it away, Whitney ...

Until next time ...

Print

Fan Discussion