Kid scribe says Cam Newton should be benched

Of the many reasons I'm happy I didn't have the internet around while growing up: my epic sports takes. The majority of my creative writing in elementary school included poems about Rod Carew's inability to drive in runs, and slams on the Los Angeles Raiders. (In other words, not much has changed.)

But thankfully, the only audience for those rantings was my parents, my best friend Matt and my teachers like Mr. Hale. The same could not be said for this intrepid sports reporter who offered this editorial on Carolina Panthers quarterback Cam Newton.

And now the whole internet is celebrating this kid. As they should. I love this kid. He or she has already offered more insight than you would find in a Stephen A. Smith piece. I like how he or she started this story with the generalization the Panthers have some good players, before finally realizing, the Panthers aren't that good at all. Genius.

I'm now just keeping the seat warm for this kid who will no doubt be taking over for me some day. (Don't sound too excited about that, either.)

Follow Adam Rank on Twitter @adamrank