End Around: Cheers to Orton redux; Agent 89's revenge


Welcome to the Around The NFL End Around, a weekly look back at the world of the National Football League. Dan Hanzus serves as your guide.

It was a good week for ...

1. Steve Smith: Who's having more fun right now than the irrepressible Agent 89? After lighting up his former team on Sunday, Smith spent the week on a media victory lap that we imagine has Panther GM Dave Gettleman searching for a hot tub time machine.

2. Eddie Lacy fantasy owners: See, patience is a great thing. Let's hope Lacy didn't bench himself this week.

3. Drew Bledsoe: A Monday night Rick Reilly puff segment on Bledsoe's wine business resulted in a order request from an extremely prominent consumer. There was some sweet irony in this sublime commerce happening just before Tom Brady was lobotomized on national television. Bledsoe's revenge!

It was a bad week for ...

1. LeSean McCoy Remember when Shady's biggest issue was public perception over his tipping methods? At the season's quarter point, he has a worse yards per average carry than Trent Richardson.

2. LaRon Landry The Colts safety got popped for PED use. Stunning that a guy who looks Batman & Robin-era like Bane wasn't doing it the right way.

3. Thursday Night Football: There have been four games simulcast on CBS/NFL Network this season. The last three represent the three biggest blowouts in TNF history. Jim Nantz was actually reading from his junior high diary to kill time in the fourth quarter. (This sounds made up, sure, but can you honestly say you were still watching by then?)

The season's best TD celebration to date

Antonio Brown mimicking a spinning football on the turf checks all the boxes you want for a great TD celebration: It's original, irreverent and well-executed. It's a damn travesty he got penalized for it.

What The What?

The best parts of Brett Favre's male grooming commercial, ranked:

5. Favre's acting on the tractor as he struggles with the unruly hair all up in his face zone. Director: "YOU HATE IT BRETT!!! IT'S CONSUMING YOUR EVERY THOUGHT!!! ITCH! ITCH! ITCH!"
4. Favre's yellow helmet during the fuzzy playing day flashbacks. I'm as stunned as you are that the MicroTouch people didn't get the clearance for NFL names and likenesses.
3. "Thinking about all those years I played in the NFL I was constantly in the spotlight and always perfectly groomed." Are we certain about that?
2. A freshly groomed Favre letting his wildly impressed lady friend in his generic maroon sports car.
1. This.

Tweet of the week

Forget about Ebola, ISIS, Kid Rock truck commercials and all of life's other unpleasantries. This man is back in our lives:

And the great thing is, that's not even the best Orton pic I saw this week.

Alright, alright alright

There's no NFL connective tissue here, but if Matthew McConaughey is giving a rambling, nearly indecipherable pep talk to a bunch of football players, I'm including it in the End Around. I really hope somebody calls me or emails me and says I'm in trouble for anything I write about Matthew McConaughey. Because if one person says that to me, I'm going public. You leave me alone.

An accurate representation of how Jets fans feel on the GenoCoaster

Fun fact: NFL Media has installed a fainting couch next to my desk. It's come in handy these past two weeks.

Quote of the Week

"Yeah, yeah, I'm getting laid. I'm getting laid."

-- Giants cornerback Prince Amukamara, who owes teammate Antrel Rolle some serious payback.

Committment to polishing

We're just not sure we'd be on board with busting out the Lombardi collection for a news conference in which we're introducing the guy taking over for the head coach you fired in September after a 0-4 start.

Belichick is just the best

The internet got a lot of mileage out of Belichick's "We're on to Cincinnati" business this week, but my favorite moment from The Hooded One came when a reporter asked him a necessary question on Monday night.

That's abject disgust, folks!

Hero of the Week: Charlie Whitehurst

Clipboard Jesus is coming off a loss in his spot start for the Titans this week, but that's minor stuff compared to being named one of Nashville Lifestyles' 25 Most Beautiful People.

From Lifestyles: "On the football field, Charlie Whitehurst might come off as a big, bad bear of a guy."

Oh most definitely.

Villain of the Week: Bad parents

Three parents in Cleveland were issued citations for child endangering after they left their five kids -- ages 7 to 10 -- at home while they attended a Browns-Ravens game on Sept. 21.

From the Northeast Ohio Media Group: The officer said when he was leaving, he saw Rashad Williams Sr. driving a large tailgating camper.

On the bright side, Rashad did get to see Justin Tucker hit a game-winning field goal in person. Back to the Factory of Sadness with you, sir.

Until next time ...

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