In bars across America, the people have loudly debated the merits of various Preseason MVP candidates before sadly realizing the Preseason MVP award does not exist. At least not until now.
Let's make some history:
Preseason MVP: Corey Washington
We'll someday tell our grandchildren about Washington's magical August of 2014. The little-known wideout scored a game-winning touchdown in four straight games for the New York Giants. If "clutch" exists, that's it.
"He has one area that he has done very well and this is he will go up and get the ball," coach Tom Coughlin said.
Well, that seems like a significant area to do well when it's your job to catch footballs.
Defensive Player of the Preseason: Margus Hunt:
Anyone who watched Hard Knocks last season has a soft spot for Hunt. In August, he took all his raw talent and turned it into production.
I could go on about Hunt, but Chris Wesseling already did it for me here.
Jay Elliott, Green Bay Packers: He's what the preseason is about, in the best way possible. Five sacks in the fake games should have earned him a roster spot. He had three sacks in one four-play stretch during one game!
Comeback Player of the Preseason: Santonio Holmes, Chicago Bears
Fewer than two weeks ago, he didn't have a job. Now Holmes has shown he's completely recovered from being the first man in NFL history to get kicked out of his own huddle.
The race for the 2015 Preseason MVP, meanwhile, is only 11 months away.