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Like/Dislike: Quarterbacks and mock drafts

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What we are talking about:

  • Philip Rivers

    Moving toward QB1

  • Brandin Cooks

    Want to believe the hype

  • Mock Drafts

    Ruining it for everybody

Red Dalton is getting paid, ya'll!

And then the Internet nearly collapsed upon itself. If I were more into physics I would make some sort of analogy of black holes, but I'm too lazy to even Google that. That's my pledge to you: I'd rather be honest about mailing it in than faking it.

But what the (expletive) everybody? Why does everybody hate Red Dalton so much? Why is he vilified like a quarterback version of Albert Haynesworth? I get it, there are times during the playoffs when Dalton looks like Chrissy Teigen trying to throw out a first pitch. And if you haven't seen the highlights of that (expletive) make sure you jump right here. Trust me, it's worth it. I'll wait for you.

Pretty rad, right? I wouldn't lie to you.

But back to Dalton, what gives here? It's not like you're all Bengals fans, so why do you care if he's getting paid so much. He's not that awful. In fact he's led the Bengals to the playoffs all three years he's been in the league. If we are so concerned about how players fold in the playoffs, why do you always give a pass to "you-know-who"?

Don't play coy with me. You know exactly who I am talking about.

Tony Romo.

All right, maybe not Tony Romo. I just wanted to swerve you guys. The guy we are really talking about here:

Matt Ryan.

Kidding. I'm kidding. (You know, I'm not kidding too much.) Let's be serious, let's be serious. The guy we are all talking about:

Aaron Rodgers.

Just jokes, people. Though, he has failed a lot in the postseason, probably more than he's given credit for. Remember he threw the game-ending interception against the Cardinals, and then that horrific game against the Giants. But let's cut the (expletive). We're talking:

Peyton Manning.

Why do you always, and I mean always, make me bring him up? Do you think I get some sort of satisfaction out of pointing out Manning's failures in the playoffs? I don't. I'm just reporting facts. The numbers need no conjecture. But since we're on the subject, here are Dalton's numbers through his first three seasons.

Dalton: 11,360 yards, 80 touchdowns and 49 interceptions.
Manning: 12,287 yards, 85 touchdowns and 58 interceptions.

Somewhat close. Of course, Manning had two playoff embarrassments over that time period, including a 41-0 loss to the New York Jets.

The Jets who were coached by Herman Edwards for shoot sake.

So why don't you all calm down about Red Dalton right now? He's just the latest in a long line of getting paid. And he's still got some value. Remember that when one of your quarterback-starved teams really struggles this season.

With all that being said though, don't draft Dalton in fantasy. Not to knock the guy, but Hue Jackson really wants to run the football this season.

Let's proceed in what our homepage editor Patrick Crawley called the best use of a soap box in world history. Or something like that.

A big hand to stats mavens Bill "Sudsy" Sudell and Careen Falcone for dropping the knowledge.

And without further ado ...

So Ben Roethlisberger is the laziest quarterback in the NFL according to Sanders! All right, that's not quite what Sanders said, but it doesn't surprise me because Ben looks like a softball guy, not an NFL quarterback.

And yet, Roethlisberger has posted a passer rating of about 90 in every season since 2009. But still, you don't think of him among the elite passers of the game. Especially not in a fantasy football perspective, either.

But the thought of Roethlisberger going through practice and then saying "(expletive) it" as he runs out to Buffalo Wild Wings isn't too hard to imagine.

Was that too mean?

Coincidentally, Ben Roethlisberger looks like he is 45-years-old. All right, I don't know why I'm so fixated on this Roethlisberger story but it pleases me greatly.

ImageAnd why does the NFL make teams take a bye in Week 4? That's way too early! The league should only schedule bye weeks after Week 8, with divisional rotations between Weeks 9-12, so it's fair to all teams involved. And when this finally gets pushed through, I would like this to be known as "Rank's Rule." Thank you very much.

ImageAn addendum to "Rank's Rule" would be no divisional games until Week 5. And then we call that "Rivalry Week" with all of the big-time rivalries going at it. Bears vs. Packers; Steelers vs. Ravens; Bucs vs. Panthers. All right, not all of them will be gems. There is always one Padres vs. Mariners when compared to the Angels vs. Dodgers.

ImageSpeaking of the freeway series, the Angels get three off Clayton Kershaw, which is like scoring nine off a regular pitcher. And then are nearly no-hit by Dan Haren the following night. Baseball is awesome. Well, losing to the Dodgers ain't, but really. Baseball.

I like Josh McCown in Tampa Bay, yet I fear Jeff Tedford (and more to the point Lovie Smith) will make sure the Bucs run the ball a lot. Chicago finished 29th, 26th, and 28th in Smith's last three seasons. So where I was kind of open to waiting on a quarterback and going with a guy like McCown, I've now softened that stance and will instead get a proven commodity.

I'd prefer to not have Tony Romo on my team this season. If for nothing else, he's a Cowboys player. So there's that. Also he's coming off back surgery. Even though there are still some things to like, bad defense, plenty of chances and Scott Linehan, I'm going to try to avoid him at all costs where possible. Though I do give him the slight lean over Robert Griffin III and Cam Newton.

Did you know RG3 finished behind both Carson Palmer and Ryan Tannehill last year in fantasy points? He's had just one rushing touchdown in his last 23 games. That's just one after having six in his first six games.

Matt Ryan's interception total has increased for three consecutive seasons. He had fewer than 18 points in each of his last 10 games last year. He's one of those guys you feel cool with after you leave your draft. And then you end up disappointed. Kind of like how I felt when I watched the first season of "Parks & Recreation." Though I understand I need to give it another chance.

ImageFrom the "This is why we can't have nice things department" why the (expletive) can't some of you do a mock draft for reals without taking the Seahawks D in the first-round? (Expletive) hilarious! Don't you know this is serious (expletive) business?!?!?!? I'm just kidding, folks. This is serious!

ImageThough those who do commit this practice I'm convinced are the same (expletives) who talk loud in movie theaters, or hit "maybe" on Evites even when they have no intention of going to the event or those who recline all the way back in their airplane seat without even checking, it's cool. I mean, it's hilarious, even. You have no (expletive) soul, but it's hilarious. Hilarious, just like those cigarette butts that wash up on the beach.

ImageJust kidding, those above scenarios take a leap of faith. Like that you would have somebody to go to the movies with, friends or even a job that would give you the opportunity to travel. So forget I said anything.

Knowshon Moreno is back! But he's not an imminent threat to get any of the workload for the Dolphins. But with a guy like Lamar Miller in front of him, there's a chance Moreno could finish strong. But for now, avoid him in your drafts.

As more time goes by, the further Arian Foster drops down my list. I just don't see it. Plus I also don't like Andre Brown, either. How many teams has Brown played on? I could see the team leading the league in pass attempts. But that line is rough, too.

Don't completely give up on Andre Johnson in Houston. He can still be a valuable commodity. Don't over-reach for him. I'd be fine with him as a WR4. I just wouldn't want to trust him to be one of my starters. And if somebody else snatches him up before I get a chance, so be it.

People who draft Dre Johnson are the same guys who continue to go with Tiger Woods on their golf fantasy teams. Sometimes you need to let go.

On the flip-side of the coin, C.J. Spiller's usage and performance in the Hall of Fame Game just left me so disappointed. I swear to goodness Fred Jackson is going to end up leading the team in rushing. Again.

Trading C.J. Spiller would be the best thing for his career. Look at Marshawn Lynch and Willis McGahee did well post-Bills.

Spiller did say he had a fire burning after being ripped for his disappointing 2013. Those embers are really just the fantasy teams he torched.

Hey Marshawn Lynch ended his holdout earlier than expected. Which was good news. But he still had 400 touches last year and the Seahawks will have to deal with the Super Bowl hangover. #Science

Julio Jones said he and Roddy White can be the first pair of receivers to end up with 1,500 yards apiece. Dude, whenever I hear that, I think of somebody trying to will himself to do something he doesn't think he can do.

Jones has a new shoe this season, with a steel plate inserted into his shoe. Oh, and the team's doctors have said he looks great! Well that settles that.

It reminds me of Woody Harelson in "Kingpin" when he explained to Randy Quaid cigarettes were harmless according to the tobacco companies? I mean, who has done more research on this than the tobacco companies themselves.

Jones has been given a lot of leeway in training camp this summer, so it's going to be important to watch how he plays in training camp. Trust your own eyes.

I'm glad Tom likes Brandon LaFell, but I'm not ready to buy in just yet. There have been a litany of receivers who we thought would thrive for the Patriots but failed. Right Chad Johnson? Danny Amendola? Randy Moss to some extent?

Change that, I give the Bucs day-glow uniforms a dislike. I just can't do it guys, come on with this.

I don't blame any of you if you want to draft Ray Rice this season. But I just won't feel good about having him on my team, so I'm not going to do it.

Somebody might want to put out an APB for Jacquizz Rodgers, though. Has anybody heard anything about him this preseason?

Same goes for baseball games, too. Best time to get me is early in the morning like around 6 a.m. PT. Not during baseball games, either.

Can the WWE finally stop having Cesaro lose matches? I thought we were on to something when he wrestled John Cena so well, but no such luck.


For the record, you can submit your fantasy questions to NFL Fantasy Live, Michael Fabiano or me on Twitter. But realize, NFL Fantasy Live has 120,000 followers, and Fabiano has 150,000. Me? Just four. See, the odds are better I will answer your question, so hit me up both via Twitter or via Facebook. And if you follow him on Sundays, he'll quote "The Wolf" from "Pulp Fiction" and then it's game on! Although, it's tough to catch me on Facebook. Twitter is your go-to."

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