Asked by WJFK-FM in Washington what he would go back and tell his rookie self, Griffin went the third-person route to dispense advice.
"If I could go back and talk to 'Kid Rob,' let's say, I would tell him, basically, never let them steal your joy, man," Griffin said, via the Washington Post. "Never let anyone or anything steal your joy or the joy of your teammates for this beautiful game.
"I'd tell him to continue to know his why and the why of his brothers in burgundy and gold. His why would be faith, family and football. ... That is what I would tell Kid Rob."
Griffin proceeded to unfurl a pastiche of bromides, praising his new coaching staff, defensive leaders and offensive weapons in an epic display of dry-cleaned brainwashing.
RGIII can be one of professional sports' smartest and most charismatic talents. We just wish everything that came out of his mouth wasn't ticketed for a hashtag.