Welcome to the Around The League End Around, a weekly look back at the world of the NFL. Dan Hanzus serves as your guide.
It was a good week for ...
1. Robert Griffin III: RGIII's quarterback guru (which sounds like awesome work if you can get it) declared the Redskins quarterback is "100 percent healthy" and said Griffin "reminded (him) of the old Robert Griffin that (he) knew coming out of Baylor." That disgusting sound you just heard was the heads of millions of excited Redskins fans exploding at once.
2. Josh Freeman: Just 176 days after authoring one of the worst quarterback performances in recent history, Freeman signed a contract with the team that got a front-row seat for his professional nadir. This was curious.
It was a bad week for ...
1. Donovan McNabb: What does one do during a one-day jail sentence? You don't even have time to make friends. On the plus side, no shower is necessary.
Does this look like a man who's happy with his life choices? Is this a man who is excited about gaining a cursory understanding of French? In the words of another man known for faulty left turns, "I've made a huge mistake."
Elsewhere in Canada ...
You just stop it. You stop it right now.
What the What?
Upscale nightclub the Huxley hosted a "Welcome To DC Party" for DeSean Jackson on Wednesday. The newest Redskins wide receiver celebrated by passing around a giant bottle of champagne reportedly valued at $20,000.
That's right. We live in a world where $20K bottles of champagne exist. Remember that the next time your bank sends you one of those overdraft notices because you bought a bagel at the deli.
Cheese is loveThanks to the Internet, Packers fans now have a place to set up dates with other Packers fans. For Cheeseheads not into online dating, here's another place where you can find that special Packers-loving someone: LITERALLY EVERY PUBLIC SETTING IN THE STATE OF WISCONSIN.
Tweet of the week
Oh, RGIII. Was it just 18 months ago that your glowing endorsement of the original "Haunted House" set off a chain of events that ended with Marlon Wayans making an obscene (and nonsensical) demand of yours truly?
Now we have a "Haunted House" sequel and RGIII is similarly amped. Or is he? As Deadspin astutely notes, Griffin and Marlon Wayans are both represented by CAA. Just like Mike Trout, who has suspiciously similarly thoughts about the film.
This is an important context clue that restores a faint pulse in my faith in RGIII's cinematic tastes.
Quote of the Week, Part I
"They know how to win over there."
Quote of the Week, Part II
"I think if they would have had it a Rated R, they probably could have added a few other realistic life experiences as well."
Hero of the Week
J.J. Watt is a good human. Also, that kid can spin it pretty good.
Villain of the Week
I know Jon is a Jersey guy -- he did once name an album NEW JERSEY, after all -- but he's taking his border rivalry too far if he moves the NFL's only true New York franchise. Of course, the alternative for Bills fans could be a Donald Trump ownership situation where your team will almost certainly be farmed out to tepid reality programming for the rest of time.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, step up A DIFFERENT RICH PERSON.
"Joe Montana, Tom Brady among best NFL quarterbacks ever" -- Elliot Harrison, NFL.com
I'm late on this one, but Harrison has encyclopedic knowledge of NFL history (and 80s junk culture, though that's a different conversation). Here he puts his NFL expertise to good work in picking the best QB ever. Fun.
"Oakland Raiders' Matt Schaub broken beyond repair?" -- Chris Wesseling, NFL.com
Wess does not foresee a happy ending in Oakland for Mr.Schaub. Chris won't be taking a trip to the Black Hole any time soon.
Until next time ...The "Around The League Podcast" is now available on iTunes! Click here to listen and subscribe.