Welcome to the Around The League End Around, a weekly look back at the world of the NFL. Dan Hanzus serves as your guide.
It was a good week for ...
1. Greg Schiano: Have you read a single negative story about Schiano this week? Is this the first time you've seen his name appear on a major website in the past seven days? The Schianos should add Richie Incognito to their Christmas card list.
2. Josh McCown: Jay Cutler will return this week, but McCown's job already is done. After posting a 100 passer rating in two weeks of stunningly competent ball, McCown has locked up a job in 2013, whether or not that's in Chicago or somewhere else. Journeymen rarely are afforded such peace of mind.
3. Adrian Peterson: All Day didn't have the greatest statistical night on "Thursday Night Football," but he continues to show us on a near weekly basis why he might go down as the greatest running back ever. There's no one in the league who runs even remotely like him.
It was a bad week for ...
1. Aaron Rodgers: The Packers quarterback broke his collarbone Monday night, sending the denizens of Wisconsin into a deep depression. Seriously, have you spoken to your loved ones in that region? So many wheels of cheese.
2. Veteran Leadership Councils: It kind of seemed like a dopey idea when we learned they existed during the Dolphins' season of "Hard Knocks." They look even worse now. Maybe it's the historical equivalent of the League of Nations -- admirable in design, useless in practice.
What the What? Part I
John Grant is a Bears fan. His wife is a Packers fan. The Tinley Park, Wisc., couple agreed that the person whose team won Monday's NFC North showdown would get to use a stun gun on the other. They shook hands (possibly) and started boozing (definitely).
The wife said that while the two were smoking cigarettes outside of Sidelines, Grant had used the stun gun twice on her butt and once on her thigh. She said that she has burn marks on her butt although she did not request emergency medical treatment.
Since the wager was agreed upon -- text and video proof backed this point up -- Grant was not charged with any type of felonious assault. He got arrested anyway, for owning a stun gun without a concealed carry permit.
Let's bump Bruno Mars and move these two in for a duet at the Super Bowl.
What the What? Part II
That's Rob Ford, perhaps better known to the world as Toronto Crack Mayor. On the morning of the most important press conference of his life -- one in which he would admit to using crude illegal narcotics while in office -- Ford thumbed through his neckwear collection in his closet before settling on his NFL novelty tie from 1995.
I could live for 100 more years and not find a more baffling circumstance. You did it, Rob Ford.
#HotTake on Incognito/Martin
This is the space in which you will not read my opinion on the Richie Incognito/Jonathan Martin imbroglio. Don't worry though, if you need another take on the issue, feel free to check in with literally everyone else on Twitter. They're all right, too. Just ask them.
Tweet of the week
BillsRV (@CircleThisWagon) November 5, 2013
Hero of the Week: Nick Foles
One day, hundreds of years from now, historians will find a dusty copy of the NFL record book in some nuclear fallout shelter. In that book, a man named Nick Foles will be listed as the co-record holder of the record for most touchdown passes in a game. Distant generations will come to believe that Foles was the greatest player who ever lived.
Villain of the Week: Schedule maker
My first reaction after realizing I'd be watching the Vikings in prime time for the third time in four weeks.
"Incognito and Martin: An Insider's Story" -- Lydon Murtha, TheMMQB.com
Murtha is a retired offensive lineman who played with the Dolphins from 2009 until the 2012 preseason. He offers some actual insight into Miami's locker room. There hasn't been enough of that this week.
"Adrian Peterson still tops ATL's RB rankings" -- Chris Wesseling, NFL.com
As per usual, Wess brings it with this detailed breakdown of every relevant running back in football. Actually, the non-relevant guys, too.
Until next time ...