Each city has its fair share of merits, a prominent position on one of America's coasts, and rich football history to boot.
How can we, much less the NFL owners, possibly decide?
There is really one fair, scientific way to make this happen. We need to take them to the grid!
And without further ado ...
|City||San Francisco||Miami||Give it to ...|
|Super Bowl record:||5-1||2-3||San Francisco|
|Super Bowls hosted:||0 (1, if you count Stanford)||10||Miami|
|Super Bowl legacy:||California hosted the first Super Bowl||Florida has hosted the most Super Bowls||San Francisco. I'm going quality over quantity here. California hosting Super Bowl I and L would be a nice little bookend for the Golden State.|
$1.2 billion for new stadium
$350 million for renovations
|San Francisco. When I hear that cost I can't help but picture Jed York doing his best Dr. Evil impression.|
|Coolest part of Super Bowl bid:||Kickoff would be under the sun||A football game (not the SB) would be played on an aircraft carrier||San Francisco. While the aircraft carrier would be awesome, having the Super Bowl start in natural light would be awesome and historic. Not since 2003 has a Super Bowl started in natural light, so I give the nod to San Fran.|
|Environmentally friendly feature:||Ticketless entry||Water shuttles to stadium||Miami. While I'm all for saving paper, taking a shuttle along the coast to arrive at Super Bowl L takes that cake.|
|Weather on May 20:||75 degrees and sunny||82 degrees, overcast and humid||San Francisco. While this is somewhat irrelevant since the Super Bowl is played in February, given the tight deadline I couldn't find historical temperatures. So the nod goes to San Fran because humidity is awful.|
|Best sitcom set in the city:||Full House||Dexter||Miami. While I love me some Danny Tanner shenanigans, you just can't beat Dexter.|
|Better Michael Bay movie:||Bad Boys. Cage and Connery vs. Lawrence and Smith. Advantage Bad Boys.|
|Musician that refuses to go away:||Journey||Enrique Iglesias||Push. My ears bleed every time 'Don't Stop Believin'' comes on at a bar. And Iglesias released a single in 2012.|
|Franchise figurehead:||Joe Montana||Dan Marino||San Francisco. Four rings to zero. There's really no argument here.|
|Better Real World season:||San Francisco||Miami||San Francisco. Season three put the Real World on the map with Pedro Zamora's struggle with AIDS and the eventual eviction of Puck.|
|Better Grand Theft Auto iteration:||San Andreas||Vice City||Vice City. The soundtrack and nostalgia pushes this one in Miami's favor.|
The final verdict? It came down to the wire, but San Francisco just edged out Miami by a score of seven to five. Which is fortunate because rumor has it San Francisco is the lead dog to win the bid after all. But if the owners need a little help, they know they can find it on the grid.
Alex Gelhar filled in for Adam Rank to write this edition of the Gridiron Breakdown. You can follow him on Twitter @alexgelhar. Adam will be back to write more Gridiron Breakdowns soon, but if you can't wait that long check him out on the latest "Dave Dameshek Football Program". You can also follow Adam on Twitter. He's taking us to lunch if he gets 25 more Twitter followers today. So do it.