Forget The Masters. "Black Monday" is a tradition unlike any other.
Yes, I'm talking about this coming Monday, one day after the regular season's completion, when we experiences mass terminations of the NFL's worst coaches and general managers, fueling hope, debate and controversy.
Competitive balance reigns supreme in today's NFL, which is great for entertainment, but not for job security.
Lovie Smith could lose his job if the Chicago Bears miss the playoffs -- marking a second straight collapsed season -- with Phil Emery making the call.
Chan Gailey deserves to lose his, but will the Buffalo Bills actually make the change?
I'm relatively certain about nine predictions for Black Monday, though, giving us the latest installment of the Schein Nine ...
1) Chargers won't be Norved again
Norv Turner through the yearsTake a look at photos of Norv Turner through the years.
A.J. Smith and Norv Turner are akin to Freddy and Jason in the horror flicks. You think you can get rid of them, but they always come back for more torment. Until Monday.
Oh, Norv. Norv, Norv, Norv, Norv, Norv.
Let's see, the countless losses to inferior teams, the lack of motivation and adjustments and inspiration. I'm going to miss it. It brought such entertainment and shtick.
One final time ...
Norved (v): The act of losing a football game in unfathomable fashion, usually to a much weaker foe.
Used in a sentence: I got Norved in my survivor pool when the Chargers lost at home to the Panthers on a Dante Rosario touchdown in the 2008 opener.
Jokes aside, Smith will be fired on Monday, too. I blame him more than Norv for the San Diego Chargers' underachievement. As I wrote Wednesday, Smith allowed major talent to leave San Diego and brought an ill-fated, dart-board approach to the NFL draft.
I wonder if Bruce Arians becomes the next head coach in San Diego.
2) Pat Shurmur and Tom Heckert are done in Cleveland
Yes, I get your tweets. The Cleveland Browns didn't finish 1-15, like I predicted. They aren't the worst team in football. But let's not pretend that Cleveland has put together a good year. They are a five-win, last-place team with a "slip on the banana peel" approach to close games (see: losses to Eagles and Cowboys). With new owner Jimmy Haslam embarking on his first NFL offseason, he isn't about to begin his journey with the overmatched head coach and general manager from the prior regime.
It would've taken a stunning run to the playoffs to convince Haslam otherwise. With five months as owner under his belt, Haslam likely already has his new general manager and coach in mind. And he should.
3) Adios, Andy Reid
This one is easy and obvious. Reid had a remarkable run with the Philadelphia Eagles and should be celebrated for turning around the team and bringing true credibility to the franchise. Every year, Philly was a threat to win the Super Bowl. That's how Reid should be remembered -- not for his inability to deliver the Lombardi Trophy. But the expiration date has been reached. Owner Jeffrey Lurie said in the preseason that 8-8 would not be tolerated. It's been worse than that, with the Eagles at 4-11. It's been a tough and emotional year for Reid with the passing of his son. A change is needed for the Eagles and for Reid.
Chip Kelly makes sense in Philly.
4) Mike Tannenbaum and Rex Ryan keep their jobs
Call this a hunch. Call this a take based upon track record. Call this Woody Johnson liking Tannenbaum and Ryan personally and professionally, and the New York Jets playing most of the year without two of their best players in Darrelle Revis and Santonio Holmes. Or call the notion of demoting Tannenbaum and keeping Rex counterproductive to the franchise. What kind of legit general manager candidate would take that job?
Either keep both Rex Ryan and Mike Tannenbaum or fire them both. Don't go about a change halfway.
5) Scott Pioli and Romeo Crennel won't be back in Kansas City
Pioli's defensive flops in the draft are well documented. His handpicked quarterback (Matt Cassel) never lived up to the hype and became entrenched. He whiffed on two head coaches in Todd Haley and Crennel. I thought Pioli would work wonders coming from New England. It never materialized.
The Kansas City Chiefs need a major cleansing. There will be sweeping changes.
6) Bud Adams gets it wrong
I would not fire Mike Munchak. I think he's a solid coach and he did a nice job in 2011. Jerry Gray is an overmatched defensive coordinator and should be fired. But Adams seemingly is getting antsy, and the disastrous loss to the Green Bay Packers in Week 16 didn't help. I hope I am wrong, but I think the Tennessee Titans will be looking for a new coach.
7) Ron Rivera gets canned
I think Marty Hurney, the Carolina Panthers' GM before his firing in October, is to blame for the lack of talent. But there's a new general manager coming in who should pick the coach. Rivera hasn't inspired. He's earned this ouster.
8) Gene Smith and Mike Mularkey are out
I like Mularkey. His players have played hard for him. But he hasn't won games. The Jacksonville Jaguars are 2-13 and truly unwatchable. And perhaps his biggest "sin" is that he did not want to acquire hometown hero Tim Tebow in the offseason. This could be a situation like Cam Cameron in Miami, where the new head coach is one-and-done.
I named Smith a "Scrooge" in my Wednesday column. His draft record is wretched.
Shad Khan wants to sell tickets. This act isn't getting it done.
9) Ken Whisenhunt gets shown the door
Whisenhunt is a very good coach. If Arizona had held on to beat Pittsburgh in Super Bowl XLIII, there would be a Ken Whisenhunt statue outside of the Cardinals' stadium. Personally, I wouldn't fire Whisenhunt.
But this season has been an embarrassment. The quarterback situation is between sad and laughable, and Whisenhunt hasn't handled it well. The no-show against the Seattle Seahawks was alarming. They are wasting Larry Fitzgerald and a talented defense.
The educated guess: Whisenhunt is let go, and defensive coordinator Ray Horton takes over as head coach.
Follow Adam Schein on Twitter @AdamSchein.