Gone were the blonde locks, traded in for a crewcut. Why, sir?
"I've got to apologize to my family and friends back home," Cousins explained, "because I think I'm embarrassing them. I try to represent them well, and my haircut's not doing it."
Cousins went on: "So my friends are in town, and we go over to the Dulles Barber. There were actually two places, the Hair Cuttery and the Dulles Barber, and I said, 'I'm going to go to the Dulles Barber.'
"(But) the lady who cut my hair wasn't speaking English all that clearly, there was a communication breakdown, and she basically gave me a Mohawk. I had my glasses on. She took them off to cut my hair. I couldn't stop her, obviously because I couldn't see. She wheels me back around, I look in the mirror -- realize I have a Mohawk -- and I tell her, 'Just shave it off.' ... Now I gotta live with this for the next couple of weeks until it grows back, but I do want to apologize to my family and friends back home."
CUT TO: Sideswiped workers at the Dulles Barber -- monitoring a fresh nosedive in profits -- wondering what in the name of RG3 hit them.
Follow Marc Sessler on Twitter @MarcSesslerNFL.