Colin Kaepernick probably knew being pushed into the spotlight as the San Francisco 49ers' starting quarterback would make him a target for criticism. He just couldn't have imagined that criticism would be so ridiculous.
In a bizarre column that looks ripped straight out of Onion Sports, David Whitley of AOL Fanhouse and Sporting News barfed up 750 words on Kaepernick's offensive amount of ... tattoos.
"For dinosaurs like me, NFL quarterbacks were our little Dutch boys," Whitley wrote. "The original hero stuck his finger in the dyke to save Holland. Pro QBs were the last line of defense against the raging sea of ink. When our kids said they wanted a tattoo, we could always point to the Manning brothers."
We could break down Whitley's comments further, but what's the point? It's a silly column simply designed to get attention. It's like criticizing "The Jersey Shore" for not being realistic. That's the point.
The column created enough of a buzz Thursday to reach Rick and Teresa Kaepernick, Colin's parents.
"It annoyed me," Teresa Kaepernick told Robert Klemko of USA Today. "You are categorizing this kid on something like tattoos? Really? Saying other guys are role models because they don't have them? Really? Some of these other guys don't have crystal clear reputations. That's how you're going to define this kid? It's pretty irritating, but it is what it is."
Kaepernick was a 4.0 high school student who has never been in any sort of trouble. His tattoos are of bible verses. It's ridiculous that we're even defending Kaepernick against the charge of having tattoos.
"This guy has probably never talked to Colin," Rick Kaepernick said. "Instead of saying that Colin does all these great things and donates his time to children, this guy is going to make him out like a gangster. Really? I guess you just have to roll with the punches.
"Somebody asked me if I got mad about that. I said no. It's just a guy and his opinion. I could have an opinion about him, but I've never met the guy, so I don't know if my opinion would be right."
We've never met Whitley either, but we know enough about him to say one thing: The guy needs an editor.Follow Gregg Rosenthal on Twitter @greggrosenthal.