Happy Thanksgiving, America.
On this day, we give thanks for the prosperity of our country, the love of our family and the opportunities in our future.
On this day, we get to eat platefuls of turkey, piles of stuffing and heaps of mashed potatoes puddled in lakes of gravy.
On this day, we get to lounge around and watch the Dallas Cowboys take on their hated rivals, the Washington Redskins. We get to take in an early Houston Texans-Detroit Lions game on a day when most Lions fans generally take to a knee and pray "please, just don't embarrass us on national television."
Unfortunately, that final game ensures that nearly a quarter of Americans won't get their dream Thanksgiving dinner guest.
According to a Nielsen survey, New York Jets starting punt protector Tim Tebow garnered 23 percent of the vote of those asked who they'd like to have as a Thanksgiving dinner guest, according to the New York Post.
Sorry, you 23 percenters: Rex Ryan needs the best punt protector in the NFL today.
Tebow finished ahead of Big Bird, Lady Gaga and President Obama.
I'll give you a second to digest a list where a backup quarterback, a fictional bird and a pop singer are more popular guests than the leader of the free world (who received only 5 percent of the vote).
Someone call Nate Silver. We need him to do some arithmetic jujitsu on this poll.
The best stat of the survey: 64 percent of men said they were most looking forward to watching football today.
So are we.
Follow Kevin Patra on Twitter @kpatra.