As the NFL continues to mine for information about the health risks associated with concussions, Randall Gay has learned enough.
"I can't play anymore. I wish I could, but I'm still having symptoms from concussions," Gay told the Boston Herald. "I wanted to try again, but I can't really do anything. Hard, physical activities, I get headaches and nauseous and dizzy and stuff. I'd still like a chance in the NFL, but it's not worth it."
During Gay's last season with the Saints in 2010, he was sidelined by a nasty head injury that landed him on injured reserve. He can't recall how many concussions he suffered during his seven-year NFL career: "I don't know. A million," he told the Herald.
Gay played alongside Junior Seau in New England in 2007 and was shaken by the linebacker's recent death.
"That was real scary because I know what he's feeling," Gay said. "Some days, you just walk around, and you don't know what you're walking around for. I just catch myself walking around the house with no intention, like, 'What am I doing?' Just walking up and down."
Welcome to the other side of a sport regularly celebrated for its violence. The current information we have about concussions weaves a rough narrative. Gay wouldn't guess what pushed Seau to the edge but admitted to struggling with his own personal demons since leaving the game. Whether that fight is concussion-related or not, Gay isn't taking any more chances.