Rough-and-tumble Wednesday in the world of Chad Ochocinco.
The New England Patriots receiver has been robbed.
"This is total bull droppings," Ochocinco tweeted. "They broke in my Escalade rent a car.. they took my (expletive) Starbucks cards."
Patriots players were forbidden from working out Wednesday due to restrictions in the new collective bargaining agreement. Set free to wander, Ocho pinpointed iHop for breakfast. No dice. Ocho's morning serenity was set adrift upon discovering that someone had taken his wallet, iPod, credit cards, driver's license and Starbucks Gold Card, according to the Boston Herald.
Ochocinco later recorded a video that sent a heat-seeking missile to the thief: "I earned the Gold Card," Ochocinco said, per the Herald. "You know how many coffees I've had to drink and lemon loafs I've had to purchase to get to that gold card? Like, I had $220 left on my Starbucks card. Not just any Starbucks card, but a gold Starbucks card."
His day seemed like a bust until one of his 3.4 million Twitter followers reported Ocho's wallet found (by the tweeter's mother, no less) in a dusty parking lot in Providence, R.I. (This is real, people.) Starbucks joined the party soon after, offering to send Ocho a brand new Gold Card.
Upshot: There are men trapped in cubicles, dreaming of breaking free: And there is Ochocinco, the whirlwind.