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It's Lauren Tannehill's world; we're just living in it

Here's the best analysis I can currently offer on Miami Dolphins quarterback Ryan Tannehill: Given his positional history at Texas A&M, he might be the best-equipped NFL player ever to pull off the backyard throw-a-pass-to-yourself move that has flummoxed little brothers for generations.

Lauren Tannehill has arrived as the new queen of Miami.
Lauren Tannehill has arrived as the new queen of Miami. (Steve Mitchell/US Presswire)

Also: His wife is intensely attractive.

It says plenty about the human condition that the biggest buzz topic during the first round of the NFL draft wasn't about Andrew Luck, RG3, Ryan Tannehill or John Clayton's phantom ponytail.

Instead, it was Lauren Tannehill, who rattled Twitter with her appearance in the green room, and later on stage, at Radio City Music Hall.

According to The Miami Herald, there were over 800 tweets about Lauren in the 10 minutes after her husband was drafted. That was just the starting point.

(This probably explains why 68 percent of men watching the draft had Chris DeBurgh's "Lady In Red" stuck in their head for the next three days.)

Mrs. Tannehill is pretty and young and impossibly blonde. I suspect this is part of the reason Ryan -- a soon-to-be filthy rich professional athlete -- turned in his bachelor card at the tender age of 23. To quote Michael Bluth: "You gotta lock that down."

In fact, Tannehill himself was quite candid when asked why he married at a young age.

"Can you blame me?," he replied.

Look no further than NFL.com to understand Mrs. Tannehill's accidental grasp on the zeitgeist. A photo gallery featuring Tannehill as the cover image is by far the most trafficked piece of content on the site this week. We're essentially Laurenfl.com at this point. There's no fighting it.

As any intrepid modern journalist would do, I reached out to Mrs. Tannehill on Twitter to ask about her sudden fame. I cared not that I was one of thousands of men trying to reach her, knowing my intentions were both noble and chivalrous. In other words, I'm not a creep.

Lauren has yet to respond, which is understandable. When life is moving this fast, who has time to sit back and try to make any sense of it?

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