Pick Six  


Tebow's Broncos jersey will be outdated but still useful


You can be certain that all of the fashionable homeless in Colorado will wear Tim Tebow jerseys this fall, because the new hot-ticket item will be Peyton Manning's freshly minted No. 18 Broncos jersey. But Handsome Hank of the "Dave Dameshek Football Program" raised an interesting question (via Twitter): Will Manning's new Broncos jersey outsell Tebow's jersey for his expected new team?

While we debate that, I have six suggestions for Broncos fans who want to recycle their Tebow jerseys. And you should -- it's not like Tebow was replaced by Kyle Boller. I love ironic jerseys as much as the next guy -- my personal Chargers jersey is a Rodney Harrison jersey. But you can't wear the Tebow jersey to Sports Authority Field at Mile High.

And without further ado ...

  • Scarecrow

    Eastern Colorado has farmland all the way to Kansas (you see this at the end of the original "Red Dawn"), so this would be the perfect use. But here's the bad news: If you have some savvy birds that recognize it's a Tebow jersey, they will become very brazen and creep up, because they know Tebow can't hit anything from more than 10 yards away.

  • Car-seat cover

    If you've ever purchased an automobile from John Elway's Scion dealership in Manhattan Beach, Calif., you know that you'll probably need to reupholster your car seat at some point. What could be more stylish than a Tebow jersey? It's even better if you have an old Kyle Orton or Brady Quinn jersey to put on the passenger seat.

  • Snuggie for a small child

    The cool thing about children is that they're all dopes. So not a single one of them will notice their new Snuggie really is just a Tebow jersey cut from the back -- much in the same way people don't realize the Snuggie really is just a bathrobe in reverse.

  • Prayer pillow

    If you're into crafts, you can rework a Tebow jersey into a bag, quilt or, yes, a prayer pillow. And let's be honest: Broncos fans will need it when they watch Peyton Manning in the playoffs. And from there, they can rework it into a crying towel.

  • Halloween costume

    Old jerseys are great for Halloween costumes. This one is especially for Elway, who could delight his friends by showing up to a Halloween party wearing a Tebow jersey and throwing a football with his left hand -- better than Tebow, of course.

  • Be glad it's just a jersey

    Because it could be worse. Worse. Or much, much worse.


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