|Sorry, Kate Upton, but Jets QB Mark Sanchez asked WR Santonio Holmes to be his on Valentine's Day.|
@santonio10 you want to be my Valentine?- Mark Sanchez (@Mark_Sanchez) February 14, 2012
Holmes' critique of the Jets' offense and ugly antics down the stretch seemed to symbolize New York's crash-and-burn 2011 season, but the quarterback and wideout have talked on the phone, per ESPNNewYork.com, and plan to log face time during this critical offseason. Sanchez got matters off to a good start Tuesday.
His peace offering: A ramshackle package of shortbread cookies. Perhaps an underwhelming gesture from a quarterback who made almost twice as much as Aaron Rodgers this season, but take into account that Sanchez is spread a little thin in the love department.
Cut to: A distant corner of Gotham, where Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition cover model Kate Upton fielded questions about her status with the Jets passer.
"What do you think?" she teased TMZ.com, when asked if she's still single.
Upton then was asked point blank if Sanchez was her Valentine.
"I don't know!" she screamed.
One more time.
"It's whatever you think!" she replied.
We can only imagine what sort of deep, winding conversations Sanchez and Upton share about our world. Upton's fiery soliloquies on Voltaire's deism give way to Sanchez's rant on Kierkegaard's view of existence.
Now, friends, let's wind our watches back five minutes and pretend none of this happened.