What we are talking about this week:
Cam Newton
He's the Duke, A-No. 1
Eli the Mauler
Fantasy dreams have ended
Daniel Bryan
WWE pushes the underdogs
Mark Sanchez was spotted recently with Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Kate Upton (pictured above). Now the obvious joke here is, it doesn't matter how good of a quarterback you are, you always get the girl. But I won't make that joke. It's too easy.
I go the other way, actually. Sanchez should be living it up. He should enjoy his celebrity. Because it's not going to last much longer once the Jets eventually get a quarterback who can match the defense and actually help this team win games.
To those who want to start Sanchez in your fantasy playoffs this year, good luck. I do like the matchup, and he's been alternately good and bad, but I'm not putting my fantasy championship in his hands.
And, yes, I say that without a hint of irony after what Eli did to my teams last week.
With that all of the way, I am offering you my likes and dislikes for the coming fantasy week and more. That's right, Facebook won't give you a dislike button, but I certainly will. And this all will be presented to you in a random, meandering style, which has been glowingly referred to as "teenager on crack chic." Bolded names are my likes and dislikes. My first "like" is my stat man, Bill "Sudsy" Sudell.
Too many disclaimers? You can always check the rankings, but that is a terrible way to waste the final hours of your work week.
Cam Newton is my No. 1 quarterback, averaging more than 18 fantasy points in five consecutive games. The Bucs have allowed the fifth-most fantasy points to quarterbacks, but let's be honest, they stopped trying a long time ago. …
Aaron Rodgers has fallen out of my "automatic four" given concerns that the Packers might be resting their starters. But you need to have some great options to go for the finals and not some curtain-jerker you have a hunch on. You don't want to carry that. …
My top-10 quarterbacks: Newton, Drew Brees, Tom Brady, Tony Romo, Matthew Stafford, Tim Tebow, Michael Vick, Matt Ryan, Rodgers, Philip Rivers. …
Rivers might be limited because Ryan Mathews has a great matchup against the Lions, who have allowed 401 rushing yards in their past two games. Mathews has been averaging more than 14 fantasy points in his last four consecutive games. …
Start Vincent Jackson against the Lions, because they can't stop anybody. Malcom Floyd if you have to. …
Mike Wallace is tumbling down my rankings because of the injury concerns at quarterback. Plus, everybody runs on the St. Louis Football Club, meaning it's a big game for Rashard Mendenhall. …
ImageDid everybody catch the trailer for the "Dark Knight Rises" (click the name to watch)? That looks pretty cool. The only thing that disturbed me, Hines Ward is outrunning all of those defensive players and he scores a touchdown. I love comic books and wrestling, so I can suspend disbelief. But that is way too unbelievable. …
ImageAnne Hathaway as Catwoman? I like it. Who was the best Catwoman, though? Julie Newmar, Lee Meriwether, Eartha Kitt, Michelle Pfeiffer or Halle Berry? (Click the name to help you decide. And vote here.) …
Speaking of the movies, be sure to check out my Pick Six: Future Hollywood Stars. Is Rob Gronkowski the next Billy Zabka? …
Brandon Marshall has scored a touchdown in three of his last four games, and he's going against the Patriots, who have allowed the most fantasy points to receivers. Marshall had seven receptions for 139 yards against the Patriots in Week 1. But he'll score this week. …
I feel that telling you to start Reggie Bush is as obvious as saying that Kim Kardashian has a huge, uh, family. You already knew that, right? Start Bush in your championship games and enjoy a fourth-consecutive game with more than 100 rushing yards. …
ImageSpeaking of Kardashian, why was Kris Humphries booed at MSG this week? You mean, you are taking Kardashian's side? Each day I am getting closer to hot tubbing with a hair dryer. …
Here's a running back conundrum with a less obvious answer: Marshawn Lynch vs. 49ers. I get it. The 49ers don't allow rushing touchdowns. But start him. Lynch doesn't get denied from the end zone. The 49ers just won a huge game against the Steelers on Monday night and now have to go on the road to Seattle. Lynch scores this week. …
I would rather lose a fantasy week with Lynch in my starting lineup than keep him on my bench and have him go for 20 points. But I'm a gambler. I'll take that risk. If it makes you too uncomfortable, I understand. Don't talk to me ever again, but I understand. …
You can point out that I started Eli last week and lost, and you're right. But it wasn't some sort of trust I had built up. Well, partly. But I'm telling you, if the Titans had started Jake Locker, I would have been all over him. …
ImageI will say, with only one team left in the fantasy playoffs (thank you to all who have asked), it is nice to not have to worry about it anymore. It's kind of like when all of your TV shows have their finales. I'm telling you, my life has freed up since "Sons of Anarchy," "Burn Notice," "Dexter" and "Homeland" finished. (Although "Justified" is around the corner.) …
Image"Dexter" had a fantastic finale. Predictable? Yes. But we had to get to this point. It was inevitable. And as soon as Debra proclaimed her love for Dexter, this was the only way they could go. I'm now looking forward to the next season. Unlike …
ImageThere is good predictable, and bad predictable like the finale of "Homeland." That finale was obvious from the third week and was eerily close to nailing it in last week's column. When your storyline motivation is tied more to an actor's contract than the story, then it's going to be less satisfying. …
If you don't have an elite quarterback and are stuck in a bind, give Matt Moore a look. Kyle Orton's not bad, either. My guess is that both guys end up starting for their respective teams next season, and that's not bad. …
Besides, the draft pool for quarterbacks is thinner. I really like that Matt Barkley is staying for another year at USC. With that defense returning, I'm glad they are going to give it one more shot after those unfair sanctions have really hurt that program. …
Andrew Luck really needs to stay at Stanford. The Pac-12 would be awesome next year. And wouldn't that be hilarious if the Colts lost all of those games for nothing? We could have the best quarterback draft class in years evaporate. …
You can move on the Broncos defense, so I like C.J. Spiller a lot this week. In case you missed it, he joined us on the Dave Dameshek Football Program. I even gave him his projection to his face. He didn't like that I have him pegged for a receiving touchdown, but that's how he scores. …
Santonio Holmes is like that guy in a cop movie where you are convinced that he's the bad guy but turns out to be an undercover cop all along. You'll feel that way when he has 48 yards and a touchdown this week. …
Demaryius Thomas is the Broncos receiver to start this week. He's had 25 targets in the past two weeks (second-most in the NFL), and the Bills are a favorable matchup. …
Brent Celek has had four or more receptions in seven of his last eight games. I like him more than Vernon Davis. …
ImageWhich is kind of weird for me watching the WWE now, considering CM Punk and Daniel Bryan are currently the champions of the promotion and wildly popular. And I still cheer for them. At least I have Dolph Ziggler, Wade Barrett and Cody Rhodes to keep me in my heelish ways. …
Eli Manning will be forever known as the Mauler of the Meadowlands because of the genocide of countless fantasy teams. Including two of mine! If you survived last week with Eli, consider yourself lucky. But don't push your luck this week. …
However, it's hard to be mad at Eli for being a bad quarterback. That would be like blaming my dog for being unable to do math. Sure, my dog is somewhat smart and knows to stand next to the door when she needs to go outside. But like my dog, we shouldn't expect too much of Eli. …
Other quarterbacks to avoid, Rex Grossman, Carson Palmer, Josh Freeman, and Ben Roethlisberger. That's assuming Roethlisberger plays. …
Kevin Smith is a risky play and probably the one regular from the Lions and Chargers who I avoid. …
There is growing sentiment that Norv Turner could end up saving his job, which seems like a foolish exercise. Wasn't Marty Schottenheimer fired because the team failed to get to the "next level?" What level are the Chargers at now? They seem to just be spinning their wheels. …
Stay away from St. Louis FC running back Steven Jackson, who has scored only one touchdown in his last seven games. His matchup this week is against the Steelers, who have allowed only one touchdown in their last five. Keep Jackson on the bench. …
I'm avoiding Antonio Brown if possible this week, I don't care who the quarterback is. He's still a better start than DeSean Jackson, Darrius Heyward-Bey, Malcom Floyd and Eric Decker. But I don't trust him as much. …
BTW, somebody asked me if I was excited about a Super Bowl XIV rematch this week. But -- and I don't know how many times I have to point this out -- Pittsburgh and St. Louis have never met in a Super Bowl. I don't get what they are talking about. …
We're starting Reggie this week, but where do you draft him next season? He's been great, and he's going to have a huge game for you in the fantasy playoffs. I love his game, but his injuries. That's why I avoided Darren McFadden this year. …
Add Felix Jones to that category, too. He has a great matchup against the Eagles this week, but I just can't trust the guy, and I would look at other options if I had them. I would play Jones over BenJarvus Green-Ellis, Ryan Grant and Marion Barber. I just wouldn't like it. …
Here's a memo for the Giants: Don't call out Darrelle Revis. It's not a good thing. I'm really concerned about playing Hakeem Nicks and Victor Cruz. I can't sit them, but why did you shake up the hornet's nest? …
Plaxico Burress has become the NFL-equivalent of a three-point specialist coming off the bench. The NFL's Jason Kapono, if you will. Burress should only be on the field in the red zone, because he's otherwise useless on the field. …
Going back to Kapono, how about those preseason games between the Lakers and Clippers? Have you ever seen an exhibition game with so much attention? But people are starting to go overboard with this Clippers nonsense. Yes, it's exciting now. But something is going to happen to prevent this team from winning. It always does. I'm not going to be fooled again. …
There are some teams I expect to never see win a championship: The Clippers, Cincinnati Bengals, Seattle Mariners and Long Beach State basketball. Seriously, the stuff they're saying about the Clippers now is the same when Elton Brand, Danny Manning and Bo Kimble all started. …
Although the Bucs have quit on the year, I can still see LeGarrette Blount breaking through for a huge game against the Panthers. Not that it will matter to me, because he would be sitting on my bench. Sometimes you have to make an example of these guys, or they'll never respect you. …
I kept Mike Williams in my keeper league after his amazing rookie season. Same with Stevie Johnson. Needless to say that both will be going back into the draft pool. …
If I was going to write a modern-day football version of Major League, I would cast Ricky Gervais as the owner of a Tampa Bay-based football team that is going out of his way to run his team down so he can move it to London. And to think, it would be based on a true story. …
Hey, Titans, thank you for starting Matt Hasselbeck last week. Are you even trying right now? I told you last week that your best chance of winning was starting Locker. And it turns out that I was right. …
The Titans were the winner of my Alternative Rankings this week. And Titans fans were upset. All 10 of them. I'm just kidding. The Titans fans are great, I still want to make it down there. …
ImageThat said, how is it USC and Ohio State are ineligible for a bowl game, but Penn State is going to play in bowl? They really need to figure what's a true violation and what's not. Jim Tressel has this stigma from the "show cause" label, but compared to other problems coming to light in college football, the scandal at Ohio State seems quaint by comparison. …
I feel like I keep willing Michael Crabtree to be an elite player. He's going to have his good games, but you just can't trust him. …
I didn't want to believe that Percy Harvin disappeared when Adrian Peterson returned, but it happened last week, so I'm sitting him this week. So in a way, Peterson is like the Triple H of the Vikings. While he's good, just having him around makes other people worse. …
Not only did Peterson make Harvin worse, he also hurt his own value by yielding to Toby Gerhart (who is an automatic dislike for going to Norco High School). That is where Peterson is unlike Triple H, because HHH would never yield the spotlight to somebody who he perceives is beneath him. Like just about everybody in the WWE. …
Happy Festivus to those reading on Friday. Be sure to check out my Pick Six: Airing of Grievances. I've had a lot of problems with some of you people. Well, not you people, you've been great. But I'll take aim at those who have aggravated me. So look for that on Friday. Merry Christmas, everybody.
For the record, you can submit your fantasy questions to NFL Fantasy Live, Michael Fabiano or me on Twitter. But realize, NFL Fantasy Live has 37,000 followers, and Fabiano has 40,000. Me? Just 13. See, the odds are better I will answer your question, so hit me up both via Twitter or via Facebook. Also be sure to catch the latest "Dave Dameshek Football Program."
