What we're talking about this week:
Better than Eli this week?
Is he too rusty to play?
Will Brody push the button?
Jennifer Aniston is the sexiest woman ever? That's what the editors of Men's Health are asserting in that magazine's most recent issue. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's people creating incomprehensible lists just to get attention.
Saying that Aniston is the sexiest woman ever is akin to me saying that Joe Theismann is the greatest quarterback in NFL history. I like Theismann. I'm a fan of his work. But best ever? He's not in the conversation.
Honestly, I would say Aniston wasn't even the sexiest cast member on "Friends" (if I'm allowed to include Aisha Tyler). Although I will say that Aniston has had her own "knocking the ball away from Kim Bokamper in Super Bowl XVII" moment: her turn in "She's the One," a very underrated film that you should all check out.
With that all out of the way, I am offering my likes and dislikes for the coming fantasy week and more. That's right, Facebook won't give you a dislike button, but I certainly will. And this all will be presented to you in a random, meandering style, which has been glowingly referred to as "teenager-on-crack chic." Bolded names are my likes and dislikes. My first "like" is my stat man, Bill "Sudsy" Sudell.
Too many disclaimers? You can always check the rankings, but that is a terrible way to waste the final hours of your work week.
I like Matthew Stafford, who is averaging close to 20 fantasy points in his last four games. He faces the Raiders, who have allowed the sixth-most fantasy points to quarterbacks. Stafford is a great start. Don't fret about Calvin Johnson, either. â¦
The biggest question comes at No. 6: Who do you go with, Eli Manning or Tony Romo? Tough call here. I'm going with Romo just ahead of Eli because New York's upcoming matchup against the Redskins practically screams "trap." The Giants should dominate statistically, but coming off a huge road win on Sunday night just begs for a Giant letdown. â¦
The Cowboys are desperate for a win here. I like Romo to throw at least three touchdown passes as this one turns into a blowout early. â¦
Felix Jones revived his career in the wake of DeMarco Murray's season-ending injury and actually looked like he was trying. Jones faces the Buccaneers, who have allowed the most fantasy points to running backs. In fact, the Bucs have allowed six rushing touchdowns in the past two games. Even Romo can't screw this up for Jones. â¦
The biggest question: Who is the better option for the Cowboys, Laurent Robinson, Miles Austin or Dez Bryant? I like them all, but I put them in that order -- as I have said for weeks. Robinson has scored more than 16 fantasy points in four of his last seven games. â¦
Austin has increased his fantasy output for three consecutive weeks. â¦
Bold prediction: All three of the Cowboys receivers get into the end zone this week. â¦
Eli certainly put it in my face when I joked that the Giants should address their glaring quarterback need. But realize, Giants fan, if Austin doesn't lose the ball in the lights, we're talking about Eli's crushing interception after another loss. â¦
Don't think it's lost on me that a lot of the arguments supporting Eli's greatness are built around the same thing as those supporting Tim Tebow's: Those fourth-quarter rallies. And the prayer, too. Tebow often turns to prayer in the form of taking a knee. Eli does it by blindly tossing wounded ducks to his receivers. â¦
For all of the prayers and floats Eli launches, wasn't it fitting that Mario Manningham dropped a perfect pass from him in the end zone? Like he didn't know what to do with a well-thrown ball from Eli. â¦
ImageI still stand by a statement from a few weeks ago that Tebow and John Cena are the same person. I really like Cena's promo on The Rock from the Slammy Awards on Monday night. As bad as it is for adults to like Cena, liking The Rock is way worse. Falling for The Rock's antics is akin to thinking that the Hooters waitress really likes you. The Rock doesn't care about you. If he did, he wouldn't make (expletive) the "Fast and Furious 9." â¦
ImageBravo to the WWE Universe for making CM Punk the superstar of the year. (And he'd better go over The Miz and Alberto Del Rio at TLC.) I'm coming around to Brandon Stroud's line of thinking that John Laurinaitis is the best thing going on RAW. â¦
The Titans are still fighting for a playoff spot, but Locker gives the team its best chance to win. You can't convince me otherwise. The Titans face the Colts, who allow the fifth-most points to fantasy quarterbacks. â¦Interesting note: I interviewed Locker this summer and he's a huge JFK buff. I don't know why, but this makes me like him more. Sure, JFK knowledge doesn't help your fantasy team, but does it hurt? â¦
The Packers have an interesting conundrum with Greg Jennings out. The guy to pick up is James Jones, who I like more than Donald Driver. Jermichael Finley, anytime you want to join us would be wonderful. â¦
A.J. Green seems to come up with a spectacular catch every week. Green has scored a touchdown in five of six road games, and he's facing the St. Louis FC, which has allowed the fifth-most fantasy points to receivers. Plus, it's really, really fun to root against St. Louis, so put A.J. Green in your lineup! ...
I would say that St. Louis deserves better, since Albert Pujols signed with my Angels. But actually, "deserves" has nothing to do with it. I don't like the notion that St. Louis is going to get the Jags when the Rams return to Los Angeles. How many tries does St. Louis need? â¦
Reggie Bush is averaging 14.07 fantasy points per game over his last seven games. The Bills have allowed the fourth-most points to running backs this season. I don't expect a lot of passing from the Dolphins this week. â¦
The Bears have allowed the sixth-fewest points to fantasy running backs, but I'm going with Jaime Maggio's spider analogy and keeping Marshawn Lynch in the lineup. He has a rushing touchdown in nine consecutive games; that's hard to bench. Let's not worry about his matchup with the 49ers until next week. â¦
I would have no fear playing Demaryius Thomas this week, because the Patriots have allowed the most fantasy points to receivers. Thomas has three touchdowns in his last two games, and I like him more than Eric Decker. â¦
Ryan Grant has seen his fantasy points increase in the last three weeks. â¦
ImageSpeaking of green, I'm liking the new reboot of DC Comics. Issue 4 of the Detective Comics and Green Lantern arrived at my house this week. I like the Batman story, but the new Green Lantern has been the most impressive so far. Not a huge surprise, considering it's written by Geoff Johns. ...
If you're concerned about Adrian Peterson's effectiveness after returning from injury, don't be. Peterson missed two games in 2007 and returned for 116 yards and two TDs. He rushed for 118 yards and a touchdown after missing a game last season. Don't worry about it. Besides, it's the fantasy playoffs. And it's A.D. â¦
Beanie Wells has scored fewer than seven points in five of his last eight games, but he's going to have a great performance against the Browns, who allow 180 rushing yards per game. â¦
Vincent Jackson has scored five touchdowns since Week 9. All five have come during odd-numbered weeks (including three in Week 9). Is that flimsy trend enough to start him this week against the Ravens? You bet your (expletive). â¦
ImageOh, speaking of that, huge night of television this Sunday. With the Chargers and Ravens playing that evening, I'm not going to be able to catch either "Dexter" or "Homeland." Oh, who am I kidding? I'll be staying up late to watch both. â¦
ImageHere is my prediction for the "Homeland" finale: Brody pushes the button on the vest, but it doesn't work because he's being tested by Abu Nazir. The real mission is to win an election. The next season starts two years ahead with Carrie being hunted by the FBI as a stalker of the new vice president (Brody). â¦
Mark Sanchez is averaging 19.35 fantasy points in each of his last three games. I see this as a run-heavy day for the Jets. There are still things to dislike about Sanchez, because he hasn't topped 185 passing yards in any of those three games. â¦
Have you looked at the standings lately? The Jets currently own the No. 6 seed. And they would play New England in the playoffs, who they would beat. Then they would beat the No. 1 seed Texans the next round, meaning it looks like the Steelers could host the Jets again in the AFC Championship Game. â¦
If you are starting Matt Moore, look at your waiver wire and see if Red Dalton or T.J. Yates are still available. I like the youngsters this week, but I have them just outside the QB1 rankings behind some bigger names. â¦
As always, be sure to check the rankings. I might have Sanchez and Dalton in the dislike column only because quarterback hoarders have stripped depth at the position; Dalton could be in your lineup this week. â¦
BTW, can we pump the brakes a bit on Yates? I like what he did last week on the road against a team fighting for the playoffs, but to say he would be the second quarterback selected in a re-draft is a stretch. Dalton has proved himself. But it's clear that the Jaguars would be better off with him. â¦
But to be fair to Blaine Gabbert, how about mixing in a receiver in Jacksonville? The only Jags receiver to crack our rankings was, well, none of them. â¦
Is it too soon to say that the Jags should have drafted Tebow? Or are we not supposed to talk about that? â¦
I would like to wonder what is going wrong with Carson Palmer, but did we expect way too much? I mean, it's not unlike the Oakland Raiders to overpay for a guy who is past his prime. Maybe Carson and Javon Walker can get together and have a good laugh about that. â¦
Actually, the Bengals would probably like to get into that mix, too. How many draft picks did the Bengals rip from the Oakland Raiders? Herschel Walker called, he wanted to let you know that you got ripped off. â¦
ImageSpeaking of bad trades: Now Chris Paul can be traded? How did the NBA hold one of its own teams hostage? Oh right, it's the Clippers. What an embarrassment of a league. The NBA makes the XFL seem like it was sound business. At least Vince McMahon was upfront about running the whole league. â¦
I'm telling you right now, things won't end well for Paul. Just ask anybody who has played for the Clippers: Danny Manning, Ron Harper, Elton Brand. Seriously, anybody who has played for the Clippers. There is no such thing as a Clippers success story. â¦
But back to Yates, did you see the crowd shots of his parents from the game at Cincinnati? To the credit of the people on the Bengals' staff, when they saw that the tickets were left by T.J. Yates, they probably figured he was an equipment manager or something, not the opposing quarterback. â¦
How about the seemingly endless rows of empty seats at Paul Brown Stadium? Hey Bengals fans, your team is still in the mix for the playoffs, going against the No. 1 seed in the AFC. Where were you? All of this and still, L.A. doesn't have a team. â¦
ImagePerhaps the Yates family had to be up in the rafters so it wouldn't storm the field after the Texans won. And that reminds me: Hey, schools playing in BCS conferences, stop storming the court when you win a big game. Look at you, Indiana. Why are you storming the court after a big win? You've won national championships. What an embarrassment. â¦
And you also nearly trampled a Playboy Playmate. What's wrong with you? â¦
I have a few fantasy commandments. One of them is to avoid the Steelers defense, which hasn't allowed a rushing touchdown in four consecutive games. Not only is this a bad matchup for San Francisco, coach Jim Harbaugh said that Frank Gore is not 100 percent. Gore has only one touchdown in his last six games. I don't like to bench my studs, but I'm doing it here. â¦
Now, a lot of players in contract years actually outperform their previous successful years. DeSean Jackson is going the other way by having the worst year of his career and he's ruining fantasy teams because of it. Sure, Jackson scored last week, but I bench him going up against the Jets, who have allowed the fourth-fewest fantasy points to receivers.
This goes beyond Darrelle Revis. So I'm also sitting Jeremy Maclin. I don't trust the matchup. I won't, however, move Vick into the dislike column, because he's going to be on the run a lot, and he should break his TD drought. â¦
I'm pulling for the Eagles to win the NFC East with an 8-8 record, and then for the Cardinals to sneak into the NFC playoffs with a 9-7 record. The Cardinals close with the Browns, Bengals and Seahawks. It could happen. â¦
ImageIf the Eagles don't reach the playoffs, which will count as the more disappointing squad, the Eagles or Red Sox? I say it's the Red Sox. Mainly because Eagles fans are awesome. And second, we tend to forget how magical the collapse of the Red Sox was. Right Dan Shaughnessy? I remember headlining a show that night and watching the whole thing play out in the bar before going on stage. Might be one of my favorite nights ever. â¦
What do you do with Ryan Mathews? The Chargers can move the ball in the air on them, but I'm passing on Mathews. The Ravens have not allowed a rushing touchdown in three consecutive games, and have allowed the second-fewest fantasy points to running backs on the season. â¦
The Chargers give up a lot of points to fantasy quarterbacks, which is good for Joe Flacco (though I wouldn't start him), but they are a little more stingy against fantasy receivers. I don't expect much from Torrey Smith. â¦
I shudder to think how I might have selected Josh Freeman to a number of my teams but passed at the last moment. The Bucs have been so bad, and there is talk that Raheem Morris is going to be fired. For as much as people talk about the Jaguars' attendance, they outdraw the Bucs and Dolphins. â¦
Peyton Hillis is expected to split time with Montario Hardesty, and neither will be an attractive option this week. â¦
DeAngelo Williams had a long touchdown run last week, but I'm not in any hurry to put him in the lineup this week against Houston, which hasn't allowed a rushing touchdown in five consecutive games. â¦
I don't know if I will ever learn this lesson, but I need to stop falling in love with rookie running backs. Danny Thomas and Mark Ingram let me down greatly, though DeMarco was great for a spell. â¦
Remember when it was rookie running backs who could be counted on to make a huge impact (George Rogers winning the rushing title comes to mind)? Now, rookie quarterbacks and receivers rule the day. â¦
I'm in a league that has its fantasy playoffs conclude in Week 17. I shudder to think what my lineup is going to look like that week. No wonder I've never won this particular league. I'm already eyeing Alex Smith to be my quarterback when Brady is benched. â¦
A running back is eventually going to break the 49ers' shutout streak, and it won't mean a thing to me because that running back will be on my fantasy bench. Sorry Rashard Mendenhall, I'm not starting you. But watch, after getting stuffed four times at the goal line last week, he'll be the one to finally score against them. â¦
The bad thing with trying to figure out Ben Roethlisberger is that he likes to milk these injuries for all of the attention they're worth. The guy loves that John Wayne (expletive). Play a better option if you have one. â¦
ImageHowever, I would like to get Roethlisberger to teach some of the current WWE superstars how to sell an injury. You listening, John Cena? If Cena was the quarterback of the Steelers, he'd run out on to the field on Monday, showing no signs of an injury, and go all Super Cena on everybody. ...
For the record, you can submit your fantasy questions to NFL Fantasy Live, Michael Fabiano or me on Twitter. But realize, NFL Fantasy Live has 37,000 followers, and Fabiano has 40,000. Me? Just 13. See, the odds are better I will answer your question, so hit me up both via Twitter or via Facebook. Also be sure to catch the latest "Dave Dameshek Football Program."