Excuse us while we digress for a minute.
Because that's what Bobby April did to answer the question: "What's happened to DeSean Jackson?"
Last season, Jackson was among the game's most explosive special-teams weapons, sealed by his scorching 65-yard punt return for the touchdown that buried the Giants in Week 15 and propelled Philly into the postseason.
Jackson's been muted for much of this season, and it pains April, the Eagles' special teams coordinator, to see DeSean struggle after his improved efforts in practice.
"Cause, you know, you want to be rewarded. ... You do good behavior, you want to be rewarded," April said. "I mean, you don't want to live 'A Bronx Tale,' you know, where all you see is reward for bad behavior, and ... your dad drives a bus, he's doing everything right, and he's got nothing. You like to see him rewarded for that good behavior."
Hold on. Suddenly DeSean's replaced Robert DeNiro as the salt-of-the-earth bus driver concerned about his impressionable son in the 1993 gangster epic.
This would never happen.
"A Bronx Tale" tells the story of father distressed to see his son fall under the influence of neighborhood gangsters, but DeSean's a no-go here. Everyone in this film -- good guys, bad guys, even the extras -- were Giants fans. Maybe a few Jets fans, but anybody associated with the Eagles is taking a dirt nap in this yarn.
That would be a shame, because as DeNiro's character said: "The saddest thing in life is wasted talent."
