Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay on Saturday extinguished speculation that his players are being shopped around as Tuesday's trade deadline approaches.
"No,the trade rumors aren't true...I'm negotiating 2 buy Mars though..so I can ensure inter-galactic,NFL dominance for the 25th century," Irsay tweeted.
It's unclear how the purchase of our neighboring planet will elevate the winless Colts, but his words at least quell the trade rumors surrounding wide receiver Reggie Wayne and defensive end Robert Mathis.
Both players are set to become free agents after this season, and chatter this week suggested they could be had for the right price.
Irsay tends to shoot straight with his 72,000-plus Twitter followers when it comes to his beloved team.
"Tough,sickening,nausea-creating loss," he tweeted after Indy fell to the Kansas City Chiefs in Week 5. "Giving up 17 point leads at home will lead 2 hair loss!We usually lose 5 games n 2seasons!WeMustFightON"