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Timmy-ki-yay: Recasting 'Die Hard' with NFL personalities

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Mark J. Terrill/Associated Press
Another 'Die Hard?' If Bruce can't do it, there is another guy who can.


If the Broncos want to use Tim Tebow to ruin their franchise, you know what, do what you want. It is yours to destroy. But now Tebow is threatening to kill another franchise -- the movie series "Die Hard." The Miami Herald is reporting that Tebow is being considered for the role of John McClane's son in "A Good Day to Die Hard" -- the fifth installment of the franchise.

What's next, "Tim Tebow the Musical"? He also seemed like a better fit for a reboot of "Raiders of the Lost Ark."

But seriously, what is going to be the plot of this latest "Die Hard"? McClane is burned out and unwilling to save the day, but his son (played by Tebow) reads a poem called "Promise" that inspires him to once again rise to the occasion?

This has gone too far.

But it does give me an idea. Since Hollywood is all about reboots these days, how about a reboot of "Die Hard" starring NFL players and personalities?

Here are my top six, but first some bonus casting. Bill Belichick as Police Chief Dwayne T. Robinson; Todd Haley and Josh McDaniels as the FBI agents; Lance Briggs as the limo driver.

And without further ado …

6. Joe Buck as Richard Thornburg
Buck seems an obvious cast as an obnoxious, self-serving reporter. And watching Buck get punched in the face at the end of the picture would be worth the price of admission.

5. Tony Romo as Harry Ellis
In case you don't remember Ellis, he was the smarmy salesman who closed deals at breakfast and was not concerned about some "Eurotrash." This unsubstantiated arrogance is perfect for Romo.

4. Donovan McNabb as Sgt. Al Powell
Powell is a guy dealing with a weight problem who also is a little gun shy. Yep, that is perfect for McNabb. Besides, being traded to Minnesota is the same as being busted down to beat cop.

3. Clay Matthews as Karl (the blonde dude with the gun)
This one is a natural.


2. Rashard Mendenhall as Hans Gruber
Sebastian Vollmer would be a natural if you wanted to cast a German in the role. But if you want to opt for a guy who hates America, then Mendenhall makes the most sense. Mendenhall could disguise his robbery of Nakatomi Corp. by posting bizarre, anti-national tweets.

1. Aaron Rodgers as John McClane
This version of McClane would strap an imaginary championship belt around his waist after he saves the day.


But we are still missing a Holly Gennaro. Talk about it via Twitter or via Facebook. Be sure to catch the latest on the Dave Dameshek Football Program.

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