Pick Six  

 

Mr. Manning, we need to have a word about one of your awards

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Sue Ogrocki/Associated Press
No matter what the BCS says, this indeed happened.


The BCS stripped USC of its 2004 national championship on Monday because of rules violations stemming from the Reggie Bush incident. Which is great, but only if that means the Ashlee Simpson halftime show during that Orange Bowl didn't happen either.

And that is the thing: How can you take something away that we have already seen? Seriously, I would like to pretend that I never saw The Rock, nee, Dwayne Johnson in "Tooth Fairy", but it happened. And so did USC's win.

But then it got me thinking. How wonderful would it be to erase all of the injustices of the NFL's past and make them all right? Like being Dr. Sam Beckett without the quantum leap.

So here are six titles, awards and other stuff that I am stripping from NFL history.

But first, is there any chance you are still reading this, because I imagine many of you are skipping the rest of the story to go into the comments section: "I'm stripping Adam Rank of his NFL Network job."

Oh, and there is no way I am changing the Tuck Rule. Are you kidding me? That was one of the greatest moments in our nation's history.

One of our great commentors mentioned that Michael Strahan's phantom sack record belongs here. Agreed.

And without further ado ...

6. Garo Yepremian's Super Bowl ring
I should probably ask my buddy Mercury Morris, but I doubt that Yepremian is invited to pop champagne with the 1972 Dolphins after the last undefeated team falls each year. Well, if that champagne popping thing ever happens, which it doesn't. But after that awkward pass and nearly losing the game, is there any way that Yepremian can wear his Super Bowl ring? It's probably been sold on eBay.

5. Art Monk's Hall of Fame bust
The Hall of Fame is required to induct at least four players every year, which means that merely good players get in, instead of the best of the best. Well if there are four inductees required each year, then we should remove one person every season. Monk is the first. Dan Hampton, make sure your gold jacket is cleaned and ready to be returned.

4. Gino Torretta's Heisman
If Torretta was an honorable man, he would do the right thing and forfeit his 1992 Heisman Trophy to its rightful owner, San Diego State's Marshall Faulk. But since you've had enough time, Gino, now it is going to be taken from you. And since we are righting the wrongs, Danny Woeful, err Wuerffel, give your Heisman Trophy to Jake Plummer -- if you can find him on the back roads of Idaho, that is.

3. Los Angeles Raiders' Super Bowl title
I am confident that Los Angeles will one day win a Super Bowl title of its own. (Don't laugh, I was told the Angels would never win a World Series.) So we don't want the vagabond Raiders holding the city's lone Super Bowl title. That title belonged to Oakland, and they can have it.

2. Peyton Manning's Super Bowl XLI MVP award
I imagine many of the voters gathering in the press box that night and saying, "Look, I know Manning didn't have his greatest game. But he's probably never going to get a chance like this again. In fact, I would imagine the next time he makes a Super Bowl -- if that ever happens -- he will be facing a real quarterback and not Rex Grossman. And he will probably end up throwing the game-crippling interception in that game, just like he always does in the clutch. So just give him this Super Bowl MVP award and be done with it." ... Or something like that.

1. 'L.A. Rams' from St. Louis' Ring of Honor
Now it's bad enough that the NFL allowed St. Louis to use the Rams moniker. But they have really crossed the line by inducting Deacon Jones, Jack Youngblood and Eric Dickerson (among others) to the St. Louis Football Ring of Honor. What the (expletive)? How many games did these guys play in St. Louis? None of them should be in that ring. Don't make me take your team, St. Louis.

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