Pick Six  

 

These guys would make the ultimate six-man wolf pack

  • By Adam Rank NFL.com
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"The Hangover Part II" opens on Thursday and there is no doubt that I will be there. One of the best movies in recent memory (eclipsed only -- in my opinion -- by "Hot Tub Time Machine"), the sequel will hopefully match the hype like the Broncos in Super Bowl XXXIII. And flounder in the bid to repeat like the Packers the year before them.

And it did get me thinking. If there was a chance to build a bachelor party group, to expand my one-man wolf pack to include six other people, who would I choose from the NFL world?

If this was the 1970s, that list would include Max McGee, Joe Namath and the entire roster of the Oakland Raiders. But something tells me their hard-reveling days are over. So here is my current list.

And without further ado …

6. Tom Brady
Brady has always come across as a pretty level-headed guy. But there are a couple of things working in his favor here. One, he’s good looking enough to draw women’s attention. And two, he’s married so that is good news for the single guys. We call that win-win.

5. Tim Tebow
Some of you might wonder how Tebow would gather an invite, but it is really quite simple. He’s the sober guy who will drive and also provide the voice of reason when the bachelor declares in the wee hours that, “We’re all getting tattoos!”

4. Hines Ward
Guys like Ward are often referred to as “bait.” As in, you throw him out on the dance floor and you use him to reel in all of the girls. And with some freshly minted dance moves, complete with a shiny trophy from "Dancing with the Stars," this seems like a no-brainer.

3. Jeff Saturday
You need that kind of imposing presence to keep the riff raff away. And, who better than the Colts center to get the job done here? So when that lingerer at the bar tries to get in on the good times, Saturday can use his hands and footwork to keep him out of there.

2. Eli Manning
Every crew has that nerdy little brother who nobody really wants there, but he tries so hard to impress that he ends up paying for everything. What, Eli picked up the tab from the pool? Wait, Eli paid for everybody's cover at the club? Another round of drinks? Oh Eli, you shouldn't have.

Of course, this is where Giants and Colts fan chimes in to say, "That would be Rank." But that's not true because, 1. I don't have that kind of money, and 2. I'm the funny fat guy.

1. Mercury Morris
A bottle of champagne for everybody! But no more than one or two. It's not like he's a diva or anything.

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