Pick Six  

 

World did not end, but these events would make you wonder

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Wait, we're still here?

Well, this is a little embarrassing. I failed to really plan anything for today because, well, I figured with the rapture occurring on Saturday, there would be no need for a Pick Six on Monday.

And I suppose that I need to return that boat I bought on Friday. (At least I used credit.)

Guess the guy predicting the end of the world was about as accurate as Chad Ochocinco was good at riding a bull. However, here are six things that would surely indicate that the end of the world was fast approaching.

And a further note, I skipped the gratuitous, "If the Lions win the Super Bowl." First, because it's too easy. And second, because I like the Lions to make the playoffs this year.

And without further ado ...

6. Tiki Barber, rushing champion
This is assuming that Barber's desire to return is sincere, and not merely a ploy for us to forget his failing television career and appearances in the gossip rags. But come on, he has no chance of regaining his old form, I don't care what David Diehl told NFL Network last week.

5. The Texans make the playoffs
The Texans were supposed to be Los Angeles' expansion team before Bob McNair scooped in and stole the franchise as L.A. botched its opportunity to land a team. One thing Angelinos can rejoice in -- L.A. and Houston have had the same number of playoff appearances since the Texans franchise started playing in 2002: Zero.

4. Cam Newton becomes an icon and entertainer
This isn't to say that Newton can't be a formidable NFL quarterback. I am on record predicting his success in the NFL. But if his musical chops from this video at this NFL rookie event are any indication, he had best spend his time working on his reads. Those lyrics should read, "Baby, baby, ooh-no."

3. Super Bowl MVP, JaMarcus Russell
Never say never in the NFL. Because there is a chance (albeit it slim) that Russell could latch on as a project for a good football team and get a Super Bowl ring. But if he's ever holding a Super Bowl MVP award? Get ready to jet ski in a lake of fire.

2. Former Dolphins RB Mercury Morris congratulates next team to go undefeated
Yeah, right. Morris was quick to say that the famed champagne celebration after the final undefeated team falls is kind of a hoax. But he sure doesn't seem to have a good sense of humor about it. Or not.


1. Jon Gruden admits that the Tuck Rule is a good idea
The Tuck Rule happened years ago, but Gruden still cannot seem to get over it. A recent appearance turned nasty when Gruden was asked about it:

"If you go back and watch that game, that's the worst call in NFL history," Gruden said with a sour expression. "They all know it's a fumble. You see coach (Bill) Belichick and Coach Weis and their fans leaving the stadium. They knew that game was over."

Of course, none of this compares with the end of the world scenario of the NFL canceling games this season.

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