|David Stluka/Associated Press|
|This is what the Death Star would look like on our planet.|
May the force be with you!
Or as some Star Wars fans will tell you today, May the 4th be with you. That's right, it's Star Wars day, the holiest day for Star Wars enthusiast. (Although, local celebrity and Family Guy voice Ralph Garman said that the Wookie holiday Life Day -- as seen on the Star Wars Holiday Special -- deserves that honor.)
And the NFL universe can sometimes mimic the Star Wars universe. Or maybe the Black Hole in Oakland only seems like the Mos Eisley Cantina.
With that in mind, we will recast the top six Star Wars characters using current NFL personalities. You are invited to cast your own in the comments. After, of course, you get done saying how stupid this is.
And without further ado ...
6. Brett Keisel as Chewbacca
Has anybody received more attention for his flowing locks and beard than Keisel at this year's Super Bowl? Although, it should be worth noting that it is a lot easier to understand Keisel when he is talking.
5. Gil Brandt as Obi-wan Kenobi
Obi-wan Kenobi is a legendary Jedi Master -- retired of course -- and that description certainly fits for Brandt, who built the Cowboys franchise. But even in exile, many NFL personnel men still look to Brandt for guidance and wisdom.
4. Philip Rivers as Han Solo
Rivers has that same edge to him that Solo had in Star Wars: Episode IV A New Hope. Solo speaks his mind and gets things done, including getting the girl. And there is no doubt in my mind that Rivers would have shot first.
3. Aaron Rodgers as Luke Skywalker
Young Skywalker was hidden on a moisture farm on Tatooine, and likewise, Rodgers was hidden in the draft green room. But when given the chance, he vanquished an evil foe (Brett Favre) and restored order to the center of the football universe.
2. Bill Belichick as Darth Vader
Like Vader, Belichick started out as a good guy. Who didn't root for the Patriots in Super Bowl XXXVI? But he eventually embraced the dark side of the force. You know, Death Star, video camera -- they are about the same in the NFL.
1. Al Davis as Palpatine
I suppose the AFL could be considered football's version of the Clone Wars, so it makes sense that the former AFL commissioner, Davis, would be considered in this spot. And like Darth Sidious, Davis remains shrouded in mystery and still wields a lot of power.