Now, we're not here to play judge and jury, nor choose sides. But that won't stop us from listing some text messages that we'd hate to receive.
Considered: Dez Bryant -- "Let's go shopping."
In recent weeks, the young Dallas Cowboys wideout has been banned from a shopping mall and had his debt become common knowledge. You'd probably be better off shopping online or just heading to the food court.
And without further ado ...
6. Jessica Simpson -- "Are you free this Tuesday?"
Many Cowboys fans still blame the songstress for Tony Romo's troubles when the two were an item a couple years ago. So if you're a player, you might not want this text. For the average fan like me, though, here's my number. Sadly, Simpson is now engaged to former NFL tight end Eric Johnson.
4. Arlington Fire Department -- "Hey, are those seats secured?"
This only would be a problem if you're Jerry Jones. And if this message came on Super Bowl Sunday. Too soon?
3. Mike Vrabel -- "Are we meeting at the deli?"
Sure, the Kansas City Chiefs linebacker said it was a misunderstanding that led to his arrest because of a disputed bill at an Indiana casino's deli. And that's probably the case. But just to be on the safe side, if you do answer this text, make sure you ask for separate checks.
2. Najeh Davenport -- "Let's do laundry."
Before he arrived in the NFL in 2003, Davenport was charged with burglary and criminal mischief when he allegedly broke into a woman's dorm room and -- how to put this? -- did his business in her laundry basket. No amount of detergent would help.
1. Al Davis -- "Congrats, you got the job."
Coaching the Raiders doesn't come with a lot of longevity. No full-time coach has lasted longer than two seasons since Jon Gruden left after the 2001 season. But in Oakland, the texts aren't the trouble. It's the overhead projector. That's what you want to avoid.