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Like/Dislike: Ty Montgomery bounces back vs. Lions

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What we are talking about:

  • Movie quarterbacks

    Why Lance Harbor is the best

  • Starters getting benched!

    Who's out, and who to pick up

  • Alex Collins

    The Seahawks RB to own

Maybe it's the time of the year. Or the fact that fantasy football for the most part has wrapped up. Or maybe your team was eliminated in October. (Oh, hello there fellow Chicago Bears fans. It's nice to see you!) Whatever the reason, this really spoke to people.

Good lord. I could tweet out something terrible about the Packers and you kind of look, shrug and move on. I mean you expect that kind of (expletive) but still. However, if you forsake the name of Steamin' Willie Beamen, then holy (expletive) you have really gone and done it now. Say what you want about my politics and religion, but do NOT step to Willie Beamen!

But can we real talk about Beamen here for just a moment? No? You're just going to run to Twitter or the comments to torch my bad name? Fine. Go do what you have to do. But if you want to have a serious conversation about this, let's begin.

Now for starters. Because some movies don't get the NFL's permission to use its marks like "The Replacements" for instance, they exist in a cinematic universe where the NFL doesn't exist. When Shane Falco suits up for the Washington Sentinels, there is no competing Washington Redskins. We as an audience accept this alternate reality. Sort of like the way DC Comics have different versions of Earth. So Falco is suiting up for the Washington football team of record in his cinematic world. Savvy?

(And really, it looks like "Ballers" is kind of changing the rules on this, right? Or am I not allowed to talk about this? I'll move on.)

But the reason I bring this up is because in the cinematic world of "Any Given Sunday" the Associated Football Franchises of America is in direct competition with the NFL. There are references to it in the movie. So at the very best, the AFFA is on the level of the former USFL (which was taken down by the President-elect Donald Trump. That's not shade, that's just fact). But in reality, it's probably an XFL-level league. A league I loved very dearly, but I'll be honest with you, it wasn't that great.

So Willie Beamon is the third-string quarterback on an XFL-level team that recently lost Cap Rooney (this world's Tommy Maddox), and Tyler Cherubini (played by former USC quarterback Pat O'Hara, who I believe had a cup of coffee with the Chargers). That guy, third-string Beamon, is the best movie quarterback of all time? Are you (expletive) me?

Never mention this again, because you all are wrong.

You might wonder how Lance Harbor is on the list since he lost his scholarship to Florida State. What you might not know, is that I've spent a lot of time writing "Varsity Blues" fan fiction, and it's my conjecture that Lance Harbor ended up with a pretty good football career. How? I'm glad you asked, fake reader who only exists in my mind to be a victim of my folly.

In my VB universe, Harbor recovers from surgery, rehabs and plays junior college football at Saddleback College in Orange County, California. In this timeline, Harbor would have been the predecessor of Colt Brennan who famously played there after he was kicked out of Colorado and before he headed out to Hawaii.

I surmise Harbor would then be recruited to Washington State by Mike Price who would have stayed in Pullman and not chased the dough (among other things) to Alabama. Harbor would replace Jason Gesser in 2003 and have two very good years for the Cougars. He would compete against Aaron Rodgers who was at Cal at the time (and also coming off a JC stint). Utah was not part of the then Pac-10, but would still cross paths with Alex Smith.

Harbor would then have been a part of the 2005 NFL Draft where Smith went first overall. Rodgers famously went to the Green Bay Packers and the rest is history. Harbor's knee injury in high school, though, would have kept him out of the first round. Fourteen quarterbacks would go in the draft that year. The Chicago Bears, you might remember took Kyle Orton. But in this alternate universe, they take Harbor who eventually beats out Rex Grossman for the job. And then it's Harbor who is the quarterback for the Bears in Super Bowl 41. Harbor would be able to battle the elements in the Super Bowl as Chicago beats Indianapolis. Meaning Peyton Manning never wins a Super Bowl. At least not for the Colts.

That would also mean Harbor is the quarterback for the Bears in the 2010 NFC Championship Game, which they of course would win. And then that means Rodgers would have never won a Super Bowl, either.

Boom.

So you want to tell me that a third-stringer in the XFL is better than the Bears two-time Super Bowl champion, Lance Harbor? You would be incorrect.

And without further ado ...

I should probably kick this off with some big-name guys who are likely to take a knee this week and ruin your Week 17 fantasy championship. Antonio Brown, Le'Veon Bell, Ezekiel Elliott, Dez Bryant and some assorted others. But that's about it, actually. Which is pretty good for this time of the year!

Though, you should probably stay away from the New York Jets who have played the last six weeks like they already clinched a playoff spot.

Joe Flacco has a passer rating below 100 in 13 or 15 games this season. He's also 2-5 with six touchdowns and eight picks on the road this year.

Is there an NFL quarterback who is good on the road? These splits seem ridiculous this year.

Again, I hate to be the (expletive) who points this out. But Clayton Kershaw and Matthew Stafford were high school teammates. Stafford is 5-43 in his career against teams to finish the season with a winning record.

Matt McGloin has the right attitude. From sources, I hear he's kind of an (expletive). Which is kind of what you like from the quarterback positon. But when you consider the Raiders also have Connor Cook, you have to wonder what those Raiders quarterback meetings are like. You feel this pain might be worse for Derek Carr than the leg thing.

And yes, I just totally dismissed his broken leg as that "leg thing."

Image I'm losing my patience with some of the WWE bookings as of late. Well, mostly the booking of Kevin Owens. Look at how "SmackDown Live" uses A.J. Styles. He seems like the best wrestler on the show. When you look at the potential contenders like Dean Ambrose, Dolph Ziggler or Barron Corbin, you think, "Wow, these guys have to wrestle the match of their lives to beat this guy." Because Styles has credibility. Even when he was losing fluky matches, it was because he was being cheated. Not because he was cheating to win. Owens should be booked as an unstoppable force who is both an (expletive) but also a good wrestler you want to see lose because he's so hard to beat. Like the Patriots. Could you imagine how huge Braun Strowman would be if Owens was the (Richard)ish heel who takes Strowman for granted? But we see Owens as a loser and now we really don't care what happens to him and it's wrong.

The Texans have the No. 1 total defense in the NFL this season, allowing 305.7 total yards per game. So obviously you don't want Matt Cassel. But the running attack could be in for a long game, too.

Tom Savage is one of the most interesting things to watch this weekend. He really needs to go out there and perform at a high level. I don't think he can do it, but he really needs to.

BTW, I almost want the Texans to win the Super Bowl so Brock Osweiler has to watch it from the sidelines again.

Image Actually, I don't know why I would have any animosity for Osweiler. He's living right. He's got a Super Bowl ring. He's got a (poop)-ton of money. Would you rather have his career or Dan Marino's? But you wouldn't have Marino's appearance in "Ace Ventura" which would change it for me.

Cam Newton is great. I really like him and hope he does well in the future. But he never achieves anything when he's on my fantasy team. So as a service to all of you, I won't draft him next year. Thanks Adam!

Matt Moore is 11-4 in 15 career starts in December and January. His passer rating in those games is 95.8. I'm just not going to start him against this Patriots defense.

Going back to the Patriots scoring defense, remember all of the hand-wringing when the team dealt Jamie Collins? How do the Patriots always get away with this? Always.

Andy Dalton has been weirdly consistent this year and I don't know how I feel about that. Although, I should say I'm sorry to Bengals fans. I mistakenly said you guys would go 4-12 this season. I was wrong. You won at least five games, so that's on me.

I would give Marvin Lewis one more year. The Bengals made the playoffs in five consecutive seasons before this year. Who would you be replacing him with?

Image Which makes me wonder, what is the best current job opening in the NFL? Sorry, Mike McCoy still has a job right now. I'd put Jacksonville at the top of the list. The best and worst part of that gig is Blake Bortles. Either you're an offensive coach who thinks he can fix Blake. Or you don't think he's going to be a top NFL quarterback and you ship him off and bring in a veteran like Tony Romo. Or just bring in Romo anyway. Or Brian Hoyer. You've got options. You also have a better defense than the Rams. And you have all of your draft picks. The Rams best option might be to trade Todd Gurley and Aaron Donald for picks and do an extensive rebuild from there.

Although, I was actually alive the last time the Rams dealt a superstar running back for a boatload of picks. It didn't end too well. But hey, I would be willing to give the team the benefit of the doubt.

The Buffalo Bills are also a good gig. I mean, they have questions at quarterback, too. Which could also be fixed by Tony Romo. The fans are great. You win there, and you are a legend forever. I feel like Buffalo is a cool place to live. Looks pretty cold. But seems like a great place.

I'm torn on John Fox. Actually, I just want to make sure Vic Fangio is going to remain with the team. If he bounces, then you blow the whole thing up. The coordinator who needs to go is Donal Logue. And I know that's actually not his name, but imagining that it is him makes me feel so much better about the situation. Mike McCoy would actually be a pretty nice option.

I would not like the Bears to trade for Jimmy Garoppolo. I know I mentioned this in Rank's 11. Thank you for reading both! I just wanted reiterate this. The Patriots want a first- and fourth-round pick. Are you kidding me? The Bears could have a top-three pick (Jabril Peppers, please). Keep that. Draft a quarterback in the second- third- or fourth-round. We all go home happy.

So thanks to Antonio Brown not playing this week, we're not going to get a fair shake to see if he was going to reach the AB20 total I had set for him. Trust me, I'm going to pick Ezekiel Elliott next year and it's going to hit. But Brown is going to fall just short of that goal this year. Such is life. I'm going to have to pay it off, though. I'm going to wear a green-and-gold tie in each of my television appearances until Week 1 of next season. Not a huge deal because they don't allow me to wear ties much on TV anymore. But if I'm invited to do the NFL Films Top 10 shows, you'll see that stupid tie and know the reason why.

Image Thank you all for following along this year. This has probably been the most fun I've had here since I've started doing fantasy full-time. This is not good bye, but I'll see you all later.


Be sure to watch "Fantasy and Friends" at 6 p.m. ET on NFL Network, Monday-Wednesday and Friday. (Sorry, the Thursday night game preempts us. But you can be a part of the show by going to NFL.com/fantasyandfriends. Also follow Adam Rank on Twitter @adamrank.

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