In honor of the St. Louis Cardinals being in the NLCS, it seems only fitting to paraphrase former Cards pitcher Joaquin Andujar as we look at the Week 5 Winner and Losers. You can sum up fantasy football in one word ... you never know.
Winner: Matt Cassel
This is one of those rare cases where a really good fantasy day and a real good football day went hand-in-hand. If you had Cassel starting, you were likely cursing his name for most of the day. But he rallied the Chiefs and your fantasy team (hopefully) to victory to end up with four touchdowns and the most points of any quarterback going on Sunday.
Winner: Ben Roethlisberger
As Dave Dameshek wisely said, nobody rallies the troops quite like Roethlisberger. The embattled Steelers quarterback had a questionable offensive line, questionable running backs and a questionable foot. But he left no doubt that he is still a top-tier fantasy quarterback by tossing five touchdown passes against the beleaguered Titans defense.
Loser: Kyle Orton
Not only did Orton barely make a blip on the fantasy radar, but he likely lost his starting job to Tim Tebow. The only thing that could save Orton's fantasy value at this point is a trade-deadline deal to the Dolphins, but that seems rather remote at this point.
Winner: Adrian Peterson
Stop panicking Peterson owners who felt like they must have wasted a top-pick on the Vikings running back this season. Peterson erased all of those fears with a monster game against the Cardinals. And that was just the first quarter. Peterson had 30.20 fantasy points in standard leagues.
Winner: BenJarvus Green-Ellis
Green-Ellis also had a huge day, this one coming against the once-feared Jets run defense. There was a time when you would sit any fantasy running back going against the Jets. Not anymore. Green-Ellis finished with 136 rushing yards and two touchdowns.
Loser: Stevan Ridley
But wait, weren't those fantasy points supposed to go to Ridley who was the hot name on the waiver wire this week? They were. But you can never tell with Bill Belichick, who can flip the script on fantasy players at any moment. Would it surprise you if Green-Ellis had fewer carries than Ridley next week? Add Belichick to the growing list of coaches who hate your fantasy team.
Winner: Dwayne Bowe
Bowe is back, baby! At least for the past couple of weeks playing against some favorable matchups. But remember, he did this last year. Bowe put up great numbers and then disappeared when you needed him the most. So it has been a nice couple of weeks for Bowe, but if you get some good offers for him, I would pull the trigger on a deal.
Winner: Pierre Garcon
We can make all kinds of jokes about Curtis Painter looking like Kurt Cobain (and he would make an excellent band with Dave Grohl look alike Kyle Orton), but the dude surely loves to target Garcon in the passing game. Garcon is owned in a lot of formats, but now he needs to be starting, too.
Loser: Mike Williams
Another disappointing week for Williams who seems to be suffering from the sophomore slump, otherwise known as Michael Clayton Syndrome. While it's not time to drop Williams from your roster, he certainly should not be in your starting lineup right now.
Winner: Vernon Davis
The 49ers seemed intent on getting Davis into the lineup, either through the air, or on the ground running the football. In the end, Davis ended up with pair of touchdowns as the 49ers continued to throw the ball while leading. Is it time to start a list of coaches who love your fantasy team, because Jim Harbaugh would garner some consideration right there.
Loser: Dallas Clark
As much as Painter loves to target Garcon, he seems to go out of his way to avoid Clark. Or maybe Clark is still recovering from an injury. Either way, Clark is not putting up the fantasy points. If you still have a chance to grab Greg Olsen or Jermaine Gresham, you should pull the trigger.
Winner: Sebastian Janikowski
Let's give it up for Seabass, who I always love to have on my fantasy team - and not just because we both share a similar figure. Janikowski booted three field goals of over 50 yards, which brings in a bonus for most fantasy enthusiasts.
Loser: Matt Bryant
Just a pair of extra points is not quite what was expected from this expected shootout in the Georgia Dome on Sunday night. Kickers -- even fantasy enthusiasts don't like them sometimes.
Winner: 49ers defense
Not only were the 49ers the top defense from Sunday, they were available in my so-called Experts League on Sunday morning. If you managed to grab the 49ers, you should hang on to them if for nothing else, the upcoming games against the NFC West opponents.
Loser: Bucs defense
These aren't your Warren Sapp-era Buccaneers. You would have been better off not starting a defense than getting negative points from this squad.